|
|
|
|
 Friday, February 9, 2001
Starting today, I am an Outlaws fan
By Marc Connolly
ABC Sports Online
I'm going to watch the XFL. There, I said it.
I could sit here like many of my peers and rant sanctimoniously about Vince McMahon, saying that what he's doing to football is exactly what Sofia Coppola did to the Godfather series.
|  | | Orlando Rage quarterback Jeff Brohm throws during practice in Orlando, Fla. Monday Jan. 29, 2001. |
I could also bash some of his renegade league rules like allowing one man on offense to be in forward motion outside of the tackles, and call it blasphemy. But for the most part, I actually applaud the XFL in its rules package. We're not going to see some sort of glorified Rock & Jock spectacle break out on the gridiron with players in sliding recliners in the end zone. What the XFL's organizers did is something I know my friends and I would do if we were drawing up a league:
Instituted college football's one-foot inbounds rule on a reception or an interception.
Took away that damn PAT.
Let the corners treat the receivers like actual football players rather than priceless porcelain dolls with a little bump-and-run of their own.
Give both offenses a chance to win the game in overtime rather than let some coin give one team a decisive advantage.
Speaking of heads or tails, you won't find any of that in the XFL. Instead, they've turned a part of the game that isn't even televised anymore except in championship games (to promote whatever the celebrity coin-flipper happens to be up to at the moment) into one of the reasons to check out the game. To decide who gets the ball first and defends which side, the pigskin will be placed at midfield while a speed demon from each team lines up side by side at the 10-yard line. When the whistle blows, both players will sprint furiously to the ball as though it was a live fumble. They'll also be allowed to collide with each other once at the ball and able to wrestle for it after it is initially touched, so it should produce a few collisions that your standard wedge-breaking hellion experiences during a kickoff.
If you can't kind find enjoyment in that sort of collision before the first ball is snapped, then stop reading right now and take your close-minded view over to MaryBoy.com.
I don't know if I'm going to be sucked into XFL mania on a week-to-week basis. In fact, I seriously doubt it. But it has too much of a Temptation Island sort of feel to it to ignore it without taking a look. I'm going to decide which team I'm pulling for based on a few simple categories: how many players names I recognize on the roster, the quality of a team's big-name guys, nickname, logo and uniform.
Birmingham Bolts
How many players I recognize at first glance: 11
Five names you know: Casey Weldon, Jay Barker, Stepfret Williams, James Bostic, James Willis
Nickname: Lame. Just because it flows off the tongue doesn't mean it's a keeper.
Logo: A futuristic, smooshed-up 'B' in purple, surrounded by six lightning bolts. Might look good on a gray T-shirt.
Uniforms: A basic purple with yellow trim on the sleeves. Looks like it could pass for LSU.
Chicago Enforcers
How many players I recognize at first glance: 14
Five names you know: Leshon Johnson, Kevin McDougal, John Avery, Aaron Humphrey, Rob Murphy
Nickname: Sounds like something a group of 10-year-olds would name their hockey team.
Logo: A purple and gray fist coming out of a black 'C'. Exudes an Arm & Hammer feel.
Uniforms: Purple all the way up to the neckline and shoulder pads, which are black. Reeks of the Arena League.
Las Vegas Outlaws
How many players I recognize at first glance: 9
Five names you know: Kurt Gouveia, Ryan Clement, Chuck Clements, Chrys Chukwuma, Carl Simpson
Nickname: C'mon, there were too many other possibilities to name a team from Vegas besides Outlaws.
Logo: I'm not sure what it is supposed to be. It looks like a Sigma pushed back 45 degrees to its left.
Uniforms: Simple, which is refreshing these days. All black jerseys with a touch of red and gold trim around the neck and sleeves. It resembles a sweater from Abercombie & Fitch.
Los Angeles Xtreme
How many players I recognize at first glance: 12
Five names you know: Rashaan Shehee, Tommy Maddox, Scott Milanovich, Clifton Abraham, Ken Oxendine
Nickname: With an 'E', it's still a Bush League name. With the 'X', it's simply on par with something a sorority might come up with for its intramural soccer team.
Logo: Surprisingly cool. It's an 'X' in the shape of a navy blue Chinese star.
Uniforms: Looks Pro Bowl-ish with all white sleeves and chest giving way to solid navy blue. But the worst decision was to have the team's name stitched in hardly readable lettering on the front over the numbers.
Memphis Maniax
How many players I recognize at first glance: 16
Five names you know: Rashaan Salaam, Alvin Harper, Jim Druckenmiller, Brent Moss, Corey Sawyer
Nickname: Enough with the X's. If the PR drones are smart, they'd pull footage of Chris Farley doing his "She's a maniac, maniac" impersonation from Tommy Boy on the JumboTron during games.
Logo: It spells AX. Am I missing something here?
Uniforms: Resembles the Jacksonville Jaguars uniforms, except for the horrid cranberry oval at the top of the chest. Were they trying for a sunset look?
NY/NJ Hitmen
How many players I recognize at first glance: 21
Five names you know: Wally Richardson, Keith Elias, Kirby Dar-Dar, Dwayne Sabb, Butler B'ynot'e
Nickname: Hitmen is fine, and fitting. Of course, franchises with New York and New Jersey both represented should realize that fans from these two states will never get along except when The Sopranos are on.
Logo: At first glance, it looks like the Patriots' Old Man of the Mountain-inspired logo, but with an eye-black wearing, crazed cartoon character. A simple picture of Tony Montana would have sufficed.
Uniforms: All black (hey, it's New York) with royal blue rings around the shoulder and trim on the sleeves. Could be a lot worse.
Orlando Rage
How many players I recognize at first glance: 8
Five names you know: None. Sorry all you Tony Gaiter fans.
Nickname: Copying the WNBA. If that's not the height of non-creativeness, I don't know what is.
Logo: It's a cartoon head that is the cross between Bizarro Superman and Henry Rollins with a devil-red tone. Scary, yes.
Uniforms: Bright red with some gold and black thrown in. When looking at a Rage huddle, it'll be similar to looking at the sun. At least the quarterback won't get mixed up.
San Francisco Demons
How many players I recognize at first glance: 10
Five names you know: James Williams, Pat Barnes, Terry Battle, Vaughn Dunbar, Derek Brown
Nickname: Might as well have been Devils, since all its logos contain a pitchfork.
Logo: It's a black and white close-up of a devil's face that could pass for a non-green Grinch. It resembles someone's wretched tattoo.
Uniforms: A dark red with black piping up the sides like the Denver Broncos. There's a hint of expansion team to it, yet it's not over the top. If you're going to buy a replica jersey, this might be the one to get.
As you can see, there's not a lot to work with here. There are a few big names in Memphis and L.A., and several "what ever happened to that guy?" types on NY/NJ, but little else. I cannot bring myself to pull for a team with a name like the Bolts, Maniax or Rage. Chicago is coached by Ron Meyer, yet another old Patriots coach who left us New England fans in a state of disarray.
That leaves San Francisco and Las Vegas. And since I'm a regular in Sin City, my choice is easy.
Marc Connolly is a senior writer for ABC Sports Online.
|
|
|
|
ESPN.com:
HELP |
ADVERTISER INFO |
CONTACT US |
TOOLS |
SITE MAP
Copyright ©2001 ESPN Internet Group. Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and Safety Information are applicable to this site. Employment opportunities at ESPN.com.
|
|
