ESPN Freeskiing

Wussup, homies? John iz me. As a professional skier, I take great care to avoid the appearance of caring much about writing well. In the interest of looking cool and aloof, here's a bulleted list of everything that passed through my head over the 30 minutes I alotted myself for writing this peauxst. I'm good at html, and I'm into music that's obscure but not too obscure, so I made the bullets into little pictures of Charles Mingus:

• Bloggers link to things all the time. Here is a link to what I'm checking out on the Internet right now. Sometimes when I'm not doing that I like to check this out. Or I watch the world news. And of course I love to go here, here, and here regularly. Don't know quite what I'm talking about? Click the links!
• Subscribe to Powder right away to check out my new regular column, "The Life Of Symms." I know that I said that I don't wanna take writing too serious. But Powder is super cool and I'm super cool so it made a whole lot of sense. I can't tell you what the column is all about because you've got to pick up the mag. Okay, okay, I'll give you one little hint. Think: CHICKS LOVE ME.

Getty Images

Here's a hint: chicks love me.

• Why does Jack Bauer always whisper? I mean, here's this guy shooting an AK-47 one-handed off the back of a bullet bike going 180 miles an hour. He's shooting at a figther jet piloted by a Kibbutz-hardened military genius who was wooed away from the IDF when an evil worldwide terror syndicate whose illicit sphere of influence goes all the way to the top of every major government agency offered him a lifetime supply of blood diamonds, oil, genetically modified artichokes, and Indian IT consulting. And yet he never raises his voice above a strained whisper to tell the universal
  

  Photo Courtesy of FOX

  Jack Bauer's pistol doesn't need a silencer, because it probably whispers, too.

  switchboard operator to PATCH ME THROUGH TO CTU!!!

  Meanwhile, the poor fool unlucky enough to possesses the uncanny ability to instantly route Jack's incoming calls to any other phone in the vast telecommunications network of the United States is thinking, "Why the [heck] does he whisper all the time? How am I supposed to update his Fantasy Footbal team for him when I can't hear a [gosh dang] word he's saying over all that machine gun fire." And I'm thinking I know exactly how you feel, Omnipotent Ma Bell. Why can't he just yell like a normal person? Did I mention I'm watching TV right now? I multitask a lot.

• Even though it's still only October, the ski season is ramping up fast here in my home of Mountain Town. Here is a list of people I saw today at Ski Mountain: Tanner Hall, Seth Morrison, Wayne Wong, Warren Miller, Bode Miller, Simon Dumont, Donna Weinbrecht, Tommy Moe, Jon Olsson, The Dude From The James Bond Movies, Jean-Claude Killy, and Bode Miller—TWICE! I know what you're thinking: "No [heck]ing way did you see those people all in one day." All I can tell you is yes way, brother. That's Mountain Town for you.
• By the way, a ski contest happened a couple weeks ago. There's also a ski contest coming up later this fall. I know somebody who was in the one that happened a couple weeks ago. And a couple months before that, something interesting happened to him.
• Finally, I want to give a shout-out to snowboard media, and snowboarding in general. You've got a way bigger selection of cool products to choose from, and I think that's legit.

  Hey Mom, check me out! I'm on the Internet!

Welcome to the blog, Nate.

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