ESPN Freeskiing

YoBeat just took a shot at skiers. But it was pretty good-natured. And I know that I'm probably supposed to issue a witty, articulate defense of our sport against it, or bite back, or something. But, to be honest, I kind of lolled when I read it. So I've made an innuendo instead.

YoBeat

YoBeat contributor and HCSC boss type Preston Strout blogging in his skier costume. What, exactly, is that blue thing? I'm just kidding. I know it's sunscreen.

Preston Strout is the director of High Cascade Snowboard Camp. He also announces major snowboard events like the Winter Dew Tour. It turns out that the Winter Dew Tour hosts a ski competition concurrently with its snowboard competition, and HCSnC neighbors Windell's on the Palmer snowfield. So Mr. Strout wasn't too far out in left field with his Ten Reasons Why Freeskiing Is Wacky [with my responses in brackets]:

1. Freeskiers copy nearly every single thing that we (snowboarders) do. Ahem— 2 years later.
   [I have to clarify this one. We used to copy snowboarders. However, with The Dumont hitting the rally track early this summer, and now Peter Olenick getting behind the wheel, we actually copy BMX (see: Dave Mirra) and FMX (see: Kenny Bartram, Brian Deegan). So there.]
2. Is it really necessary for the equipment to fly off when they fall? I've fallen thousands of times on my snowboard and never once have I wished that my snowboard flew off.
   [I bet you've fallen thousands of times on your snowboard]
3. Doing tricks while holding poles—Ya know, if I wanted to see someone spinning around holding onto poles, I'd go to a strip club.
   [Which one? The White Swan, or the Black Cat Bar?]
4. Skiers on rails look like rollerbladers with size 47 feet.
   [LOL.]
5. Tanner Hall. Is that guy serious?
   [I think so. Read this interview.]
6. Those grabs. It'd seriously look less awkward if they were all grabbing each other.
   [LOL. Come on. That's clever.]
7. Hitting jumps switch—it just looks ass backwards.
   [Actually, it looks ass forwards.]
8. Those giant sweatshirts. It's like they have midget envy.
   [Although I cannot officially agree with you, I am inclined to respect your opinion on this matter.]
9. Let's face it, no matter which way you're spinning, it looks a bit "unnatural."
   [Dude, "unnatural" is not the preferred nomenclature. "Right side," please. It looks a bit "right side."]
10. Those skis may be faster down the mountain, but my god it takes them forever to walk down the lodge stairs in those boots.
    [Uh, I guess that "Top Nine List" doesn't have much cachet.]

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