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When I covered the Miami Dolphins for the Palm Beach Post, one of the more tedious responsibilities I had was monitoring Jason Taylor each week on "Dancing With the Stars."

He might cabriole himself onto the PUP list or choke on a sequin.

Taylor made it all the way to the finals, maxing out the number of possible episodes.

I haven't been slipped any inside info from the Disney family (Mickey Mouse actually appears on my checks). But it doesn't look like I'll need to track Buffalo Bills receiver Terrell Owens very long on "The Superstars," which debuts Tuesday night on ABC.

I'm basing this on sneak peeks ABC has provided to promote the show, a cousin of the old "Battle of the Network Stars" series that featured Robert Conrad against Gabe Kaplan in a 220-yard showdown, Joe Frazier almost drowning in 2 feet of water and the likes of Bruce Boxleitner, Skip Stephenson and Meredith Baxter-Birney playing Simon Says.

You can look it up.

And you also can visit ABC.com for a sampling of the series premier and other promos. The shows were taped in April, but when you cover Owens, you have to tune in for everything.

In one clip, Owens and his partner, supermodel Joanna Krupa, lose in the kayak event. Host John Saunders says the winner advances and the loser "may be sent home." Owens and Krupa flip their kayak twice, losing to former major leaguer Jeff Kent and model Ali Landry.

"This does not look good for T.O. and Joanna," Saunders says. "Who would have thought the team with one of the best athletes on the planet would find themselves facing elimination after the first two events?"

After the event, reporter Jenn Brown interviews Krupa, who calls the performance "embarrassing." Owens blows off Brown, throwing his hands in the air and walking upstream as she asks him for a comment.

Could ABC simply be trying to create some dramatic doubt?

We know Owens and Krupa are forced to compete in the obstacle course, the event that decides which team gets eliminated each week. There's footage of Krupa ripping into Owens for a lackluster effort there, too.

At the end of the course, an obviously irate Krupa went all Artie Lange on Owens for some transgression we're not privy to.

"I don't want a teammate like that," Krupa says in an expletive-filled rant. She breathlessly paces and mutters some unintelligible remarks then adds, "Calls himself an athlete. What does he get a million dollars for?"

"Let's go, Jo!" Owens says in an attempt to lift her spirits.

"No, T.O.," she barks back. "No, 'Let's go.' You're the one who [expletive] up. So shut up."