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Friday, March 13, 2009
Modest proposal for Big Al: Hire a driver

By Paul Kuharsky
ESPN.com

Posted by ESPN.com's Paul Kuharsky

Albert Haynesworth likes to go fast. He's got a fast car. He's got a fast boat.

And he's got a mounting record as a result.

If you hadn't heard, he's been indicted on two charges in Tennessee, which is why the Washington Redskins defensive tackle still garners a mention here, though you'll get a more detailed take from NFC East guru Matt Mosley.

Here's my modest proposal: With some of that monster signing bonus, Haynesworth should hire himself a driver.

He could begin his career in Washington by serving a suspension under the league's personal conduct policy. Someone's been seriously injured, allegedly because of Haynesworth driving him off the road.

Haynesworth needs to find other avenues to fuel his need for speed -- buy a racing greyhound, buy a seat on a Blue Angels flight (they even have a division that shares nickname some critics pin on Haynesworth), buy a stake in a NASCAR team that will zip him around the track.

He needs to hand the wheel of his car to someone else to avoid further issues and to make sure no one else gets hurt as a result of them.