Why not hand out a few awards from Day 1? Your trophies are in the mail, coaches.
Best response to an Internet viral video: Nebraska coach Bo Pelini, on the "Red Out Around the World" video
"I didn't know anything about it. It was actually a mistake. ...To be honest with you, I wasn't real happy about it. I mean, I like the idea. ... I didn't like the message it sent to our football team, especially because that's way down the road. We have a lot of things to do before we even consider Texas or worry about that football game."
Best deadpan response to a repetitive question: Baylor coach Art Briles, asked about the rehab of his QB, Robert Griffin III
"I haven't been asked that one much."
Most convincing player shill: Iowa State coach Paul Rhoads, on running back Alexander Robinson
"I wouldn't trade him for another back in this league. I think he ranks right up there with all of them. He runs it. He catches it. He blocks. He's intelligent. He's a leader. And I think you'll continue to see that out of him if he remains healthy as we go through 2010."
Best grammar lesson: Baylor coach Art Briles, on successes versus success'
"[Robert Griffin III]'s going to be an integral part of any successes we have this year. I can say it -- not sure I can spell it. What do you do after that? Is that s-s ... then apostrophe? Or do you go the 'es?' I mean, I know you don't, I actually taught English for two years, but what do you do? Just 'e-s?' S-u-c-c-e-s-s-e-s? Like that? OK, thank you."
Best metaphor: Baylor coach Art Briles, on the Big 12 being held together by word, not contract
"If I tell you I'm going to go out and buy you lunch today, it's my day to buy lunch, forget your billfold. So, verbal works for me."