Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Hey! Do you want to run Texas' defense?
By ESPN.com staff
A mysterious new job posting appeared on the website of the University of Texas' human resources this week, but you might recognize why the job came open.
Under job title, "Assistant Football Coach, Defensive Coordinator" is listed, thanks to Will Muschamp's departure to Florida, where he'll be the Gators' new head coach.
Another key phrase, under the "Position open to" row: "all applicants"
That means you! But it's not all fun and games. There are ladders involved.
Under working conditions:
Uniforms and/or personal protection equipment (furnished). May work in all weather conditions. May work in extreme temperatures. May work around standard office conditions. Repetitive use of a keyboard at a workstation. Use of manual dexterity. Climbing of stairs. Climbing of ladders. Lifting and moving.
Exposure to large crowds; weekend, evening and holiday work; intrastate and interstate travel; work long hours during peak periods; direct customer contact
The hours required lists "40.00 Variable," but the safe guess is that's on the low end. Though they do concede: "Additional hours will be required during peak periods to include evenings, weekends, and holidays. Interstate and intrastate travel is required to include overnight stays."
Better bring a sleeping bag.
Of course, the posting might be good for more than just a cheap laugh. A handful of names have been floating around over the weekend after Muschamp announced his intention to leave on Saturday night. Here's what's listed under "preferred qualifications."
"Minimum twelve (12) years coaching experience in a university 1-A program. Minimum 7 years experience coaching in the NFL. Experience coaching at a BCS school."
First off, fellas, we call it the "FBS" now. Otherwise, it's condescending. Expect a flood of angry calls from the Blue Hen faithful of Delaware.
But there's plenty to read into in that description.
One of the names who has drifted near that cloud has been Florida defensive coordinator Teryl Austin.
Austin coached defensive backs for the Seattle Seahawks and Arizona Cardinals from 2003-09 before taking over for Charlie Strong before the 2010 season at Florida under Urban Meyer. Before his NFL stint, he coached at Penn State, Wake Forest, Syracuse and Michigan from 1991-2003.
Do the math.
Sound like a clue?