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A look inside Big Ten Valentine's Day

2/14/2012

The haters had their fun on Monday, but it's time to feel the love again in the Big Ten. Sure, this might not seem like the league of love lately, especially after the last recruiting cycle, but Valentine's Day will make it all better (riiight).

Fortunately for you, we intercepted a few of the Valentines missives being sent around the Big Ten.

Check 'em out ...

To: Bret Bielema

From: Urban Meyer

Bret, we got off to a bad start, but you'll grow to love me. Maybe even my recruiting methods, too. Remember what Ohio State fans thought of me in January 2007? Now I'm king of Columbus! I've already forgiven you for your poor choice of words (this card, by the way, was sent legally through U.S. mail). I'll be sure and send you weekly updates on Kyle Dodson. Only 277 days until we meet in Madison. Save me a brat! ... Toodles

To: Urban Meyer

From: Bret Bielema

When leading by 27 ... go for 2! When leading by 36 ... go for 2!

To: Urban Meyer

From: Bret Bielema

Urban, sorry about the last card. Meant to send it to Tim Brewster. My bad.

To: Brady Hoke

From: Michigan fans

Gotta admit, we were a little concerned about your losing record. And the fact you weren't named Jim Harbaugh. But you were a Michigan man, dammit, unlike that last schlub. Plus, you actually cared about defense (Mattison rules!). Thanks for making us proud again. Now beat Ohio every year.

To: College football fans

From: Jim Delany and Big Ten athletic directors

We're giving you your stinking playoff -- and this card. Happy?

To: Sugar Bowl CEO Paul Hoolahan

From: Jim Delany

I know you guys took some heat for selecting Virginia Tech, but it was a great call. People rag on the Big Ten, but think how bad it'd be if there weren't these ACC teams completely incapable of winning BCS bowls. You da man! Any time you want to pair us against the ACC, don't hesitate!

To: Pat Narduzzi

From: Mark Dantonio

Thanks for staying. Don't worry, there's a check included. Let's give 'em 840 minutes of unnecessary roughness this year!

To: Notre Dame Fighting Irish

From: Denard Robinson

Who knew one team could make one player look so awesome? I love you guys! See ya in September!

To: Nebraska fans

From: Bo Pelini

I know you're not happy about the meltdowns against Wisconsin, Michigan and South Carolina. Or the reports linking me to other jobs. Or some of the assistant coach hires. Or the fact we had more walk-ons than scholarship players in the last recruiting class. But we can take the next step and make you proud. I've matured as a coach. I'm a little calmer, and a little more self-aware. I might put some Ghandi quotes around the complex. Let's get off the roller-coaster and start riding the wave of enlightenment. GBR! Om.

To: The end zone

From: Montee Ball

Had so much fun visiting this past season, I'll be back for more!

To: Matthew McGloin

From: Curtis Drake

The past is the past, Matty. Let's go knock out the other teams in 2012!

To: Iowa's running backs

From: Kirk Ferentz

Thanks for sticking around, guys. Some of the others must have gotten a bit confused. Told them to run to the end zone, not the nearest Greyhound station.

To: Denard Robinson and Taylor Lewan

From: William Gholston

Can't wait to throw my arms around you guys again this year. Really, really looking forward to Oct. 20.

To: Floyd of Rosedale

From: Minnesota fans

We love makin' bacon with you. Please stay with us forever.

To: NCAA infractions committee

From: Gene Smith

I thought love meant never having to say you're sorry. I guess you didn't think my attempt of asking for your forgiveness wasn't enough. But it's OK. I've moved on and ended up in a much healthier relationship. Let's never fight again.

To: Indiana Hoosiers

From: Ron Zook

When up by seven, go for two! C'mon, you know you'll miss me.