So instead of trying to decipher today's session with the media, I decided to provide a few excerpts:
On his comfort level on the field with the new offense: Honestly, I'm not very comfortable at all. I'm very uncomfortable out there with everything. It's just the way it is. Once you get comfortable with what's going on, that's when you start to try to scale it back, and I'm trying to take it up a notch.
On Friday's practice session being postponed to a late afternoon start because of inclement weather: I didn't know we could leave tonight, but it messed up my day, my biological clock. I woke up this morning, did my stretches, and then Mother Nature came in and said, 'No, Martellus. Today you're not practicing in the morning. You're going to practice in the afternoon.' So I feel bad for the fans who got up early to come see us practice, and then they couldn't see us. I'm here to get better, but I'm also here to entertain the fans.
It's sunny right now, though. I'm solar-powered. So I like the sun.
So you'd probably like to get out there right now? I like it anytime. Didn't I tell you I was solar-powered? I just feel like a better person when the sun's on my back.
You won't get much sun in Chicago in December. I had a hard time in New York last year. Tell you the truth right now, right now it's called SAD (seasonal affective disorder). I suffer from that. I'm a happy person. So Hurricane Sandy last year, it was pretty rough on me. I need to get one of those things that you put your snakes under.
You mean a sunlamp? Yeah, a sunlamp and just lay under those before I go to work in the morning.
It sounds like you're having fun. I'm always having fun. You're uncomfortable on a rollercoaster, but they're still fun.
How are you when you're focused? I'm always focused. I just look like this. I'm the same person. I can't help it. I'm the same person. Even when I'm sick I'm happy. I was reading something one time, and it's like your demeanor throughout the day when you wake up in the morning is your choice. So I have the choice every morning whether to be ... I could be in a slump or be happy. I just choose to be happy because it's so much easier, and when you smile you don't wrinkle as fast. I'm thinking about tomorrow today. So when I'm 40, I'm going to have the same pretty face. I just like to be happy all the time. Even when I'm in meetings, I'm happy and smiling. It could be 10 o’clock at night, and I'm still smiling. Hopefully in the morning there's enough sun to get me through the night.
Are you the most interesting man on this team? Yeah, I can't help it. I'm like the Dos Equis man. I'm up there. We have some guys who are pretty interesting, but they're not that interesting.
Who contends for that title? B-Marsh (Brandon Marshall) is pretty interesting. (Julius) Peppers is because he really doesn't say anything. So he's got the mysterious thing going. You look at him, he just gives you one-word answers in a 30-minute conversation. There are a lot of fun guys on this team. (Rookie guard Kyle) Long is pretty interesting. He’s a 28-year-old rookie (actually, he’s 24), the Chris Weinke of offensive linemen. I think all these guys are pretty cool. Everybody's got a different personality. I enjoy talking to each person, finding out about their background, where they're from, about their families, things they like and don't like, and things we have in common. Oh, D.J. Williams is probably like top 3.
Why? He's just very interesting. He has a lot of stories being that he went to the "U" (Miami). Anyone who went to the "U" has a lot of stories.
Just minutes after the tight end’s media session ended, Long emerged from the cafeteria looking for him.
"Where's Martellus?" Long asked. "So I can knock him out."
It was all said in jest. But it gives you an idea of the pure comedy that is Martellus Bennett.