First thing for Theo? Get Pujols!

Theo Epstein hasn't even officially begun running the Cubs yet, let alone set up a suggestion box. But this can't wait. At the top of Epstein's to-do list, even before banning in-game beers and fried chicken in the clubhouse, you know what Epstein has to scribble in, right? By the end of this World Series, he has to know every little thing about Albert Pujols, from his favorite at-bat music to what question could've ruined his perfect score on his 2007 U.S. citizenship test. And Epstein has to learn every last detail about Tony La Russa, too, down to whether La Russa's devoted animal-rights activism makes him for or against the catch-and-release of the Rally Squirrel from Busch Stadium to a nice leafy spot somewhere upstate.

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