PHILADELPHIA -- When you hire Ozzie Guillen to manage your baseball team, you know what you're getting yourself into. Right?

You're not getting John Russell. You're not getting Art Howe. You're not getting Luis Pujols. You're not getting six relaxing months of peace, quiet and kumbaya on the journey from April to October. No, no, no, no, no.

You're getting a man who just might speak his mind. Possibly. Theoretically. Sometimes at 3 in the afternoon. Sometimes at 3 in the morning. Sometimes at every hour, minute and second in between.

About 98 percent of the time, when Ozzie Guillen opens his mouth, it's a blast to be around him, and his employers think it was quite the awesome brainstorm to hire him. You get smarts. You get energy. You get a laugh track that "How I Met Your Mother" would be proud of. And who wouldn't want a manager who could provide all that?

But then there's that other two percent of the "Life With Ozzie" extravaganza.

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