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Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Da'Sean Butler tweets zany children's story

By Eamonn Brennan

This doesn't exactly qualify as college basketball news. I get that. Da'Sean Butler is now a member of the Miami Heat, which means he's off to professional pastures and will no longer be the topic of this blog's admiration. Oh well. We'll always have six game-winners, kid.

As a parting gift, though, Da'Sean decided to tweet a children's story of his own invention. Yes, your eyes are working correctly, and your brain is processing text accurately. You did indeed read that sentence. Butler spread the story out over dozens of successive tweets last week. In the interest of preserving that story, South Florida Sun-Sentinel hoops writer Ira Winderman recreated Butler's sentences in chronological order. A brief excerpt:
Once upon a time there was a young boy named Da’Sean. Da’Sean was 22 years old and lived in Newark, NJ. While walking home from school one day, a Purple Dinosaur jumped out from behind a Brick Wall and tackled Da’Sean to the ground. But just when he was about to let out a scream for help, Da’Sean realized that the Purple Dinosaur was only licking his face, not trying to bite it off. At that moment, Da’Sean decided to keep the Purple Dinosaur as a pet. And on the way home he decided to name his pet Purple Dinosaur ”Barney.”

And that's just the first paragraph! Eventually, "Barney" gets in trouble with Da'Sean's parents, Da'Sean makes a trip to video game retailer Game Stop, the term "whoopie cakes" is used, and children learn a valuable lesson about listening to their parents and following their elders' advice. Or something like that. I'm not really sure.

So, yeah, Butler might not be the next great children's author. But last time I checked, Shel Silverstein never won the Big East title. That was one thing "The Giving Tree" couldn't give. Advantage: Butler.