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Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Don't call Vander Blue uncreative names

By Eamonn Brennan

You might just get punched in the face.

Apparently, that was the case in October, according to Milwaukee's WISN network. That's when Milwaukee police ticketed Vander Blue for an altercation outside a campus Qdoba restaurant (mmm ... queso burrito), in which Blue reportedly punched a fellow student that had called the Marquette freshman guard a name.

That name? Vander Orange. I kid you not.

Blue's lawyer, Gerald Boyle, described the situation to WISN, and it doesn't sound like the punchee's oh-so-creative namecalling ended very well for him. From the link:
"The young man called Mr. Vander Blue, Vander Orange, and he invited the guy to step outside, and the guy said OK, and they both went outside, a little fisticuffs. I think one punch took place and that was it. [...] "I know why he got the ticket. He got the first punch. There was only one punch, and it wasn't a very serious matter. I think the boy said his face hurt a little bit."

Seeing as Blue is a 6-foot-4, 190-pound Division I athlete and the uncreative namecaller probably isn't ... well, yeah. I bet it did.

Anyway, this story might not be totally resolved until this summer; Blue and his lawyer turned down an offer from prosecutors to reduce the battery ticket to disorderly conduct. Instead, he's going to fight the charge:
"That, in my opinion is not battery, because in order to have battery, you have to have it without the consent of, and it seems to me the invitation to step outside, which was taken, takes it out of the battery category," Boyle said.

Either way, lesson learned. Do not call Vander Blue "Vander [insert color here]." First of all, it's not funny. Second of all, you will be asked to step outside of your favorite burrito joint, and nothing good can ever come from that.