Stream of Consciousness: San Jose Earthquakes at FC Dallas

March, 27, 2011
3/27/11
9:14
AM CT
Disclaimer: DJ Walkers Stream of Consciousness is exactly what it says it is, a stream of consciousness while watching the game. It's not a match report, but is rather meant to be entertaining. Hopefully you find it so, even if unconventional.


Ricardo Salazar, the Ed Hochuli of American soccer, is your referee tonight. They don't really look alike, but their arms were definitely separated at birth.

Much smaller crowd tonight, compared to the home opener. Unfortunate, but not terribly surprising. These things take time. After all, Seattle can't sell out their stadium either.

Wait. Bad analogy. Never mind.

Wait. Wait one minute. What did I miss? Where's Brek Shea? I he with the National Team? Did he get kidnapped by aliens? Swept up in an immigration raid? You know how those immigration folks always pick on blonde-haired blue-eyed Anglo types.

Why is he neither on the field or on the bench? See, if I spent more time on the Internets, and wasted less time reading books and going to work, I would know these things. I feel so out-of-the-loop.

I know he was having a little trouble adjusting to center back, but certainly he hasn't gone and inherited the Dax McCarty memorial doghouse suite at the Hyndman Arms Hotel. Has he?

OH! OF COURSE! Now I remember. Red card last weekend. Duh.

I should start taking that herbal supplement that helps with memory enhancement; but for the life of me I can't remember what it's called.

Speaking of central defense – Chris Wondolowski beats ours for his first goal of the season, only four minutes in to the game. Well, we've always been a slow-starting team. No need to panic. He was only the Golden Boot winner last year; it's not like we were going to keep him off the board forever. Maybe he has it out of his system now, and will be a nice boy, playing quietly with the other children.

Millions upon millions of dollars spent on Designated Players last year, and lil' Wondo from Chico State, a 41st pick in the supplemental draft, leads the league in scoring. I absolutely love that. I hope the kid at least got a raise this year. Fredy Montero did, and he hasn't scored since, like, August or something.

Apparently it's cold and windy in Frisco tonight. I see some folks on the East side with blankets. Of course, the crowd is so quiet, I'm pretty sure I can hear them discussing whether it's really cold enough for a blanket, and whether pink is really the right color for a soccer game.

Oh, again with the goal, Wondolowski? 2-0 and it's not even 25 minutes in to the game yet? I'm telling you, what with the porous defense and sparse crowd, this game is taking on an eerily 2009-ish type of vibe. I actually just shivered at the thought.

Must remain calm. Must carry on.

Non Sequitur Alert: I think Wondolowski's nickname should be The Dude, because Wondolowski rhymes with Lebowski. Just a thought. Either way, he's thrashing us like a gang of German nihilists.

This is not good. I'm so desperately trying to remain positive, I'm actually going to type the following sentence:

So, we've made it to halftime only down 2-0. Not bad.

It physically hurt typing that sentence. Like stubbed toe.

I hope this gets better.

We're in the second half now, and, oh, wow, Jon Busch just robbed Milton Rodriguez. Robbed him like he had shares in Lehman Brothers. Robbed him like he left a window open at the pawn shop. Robbed him like he was flashing money at the bus station.

If you get my point.

Now things are getting interesting. Fabian Castillo is in the game, replacing Ricardo Villar.

He's a baby – 18 years old. And, he looks even younger. He'll have more trouble getting a driver's license than he did getting a work visa.

He's been on the field five minutes and he's already blown by a good percentage of of the Earthquakes. Some of them, twice. Fast, this kid is. Fast. Like Rocky in Rocky II after Mickey made him chase chickens fast.

Bah! I hope Jon Busch will have a change of heart and give Milton Rodriguez his wallet back later, because he just upped and robbed him. Again.

Things are going better. The boys are really starting to impose themselves on San Jose. We're putting on tons of pressure, and we have most of the possession. It's a complete 180 from the first half. I wonder what Sifu Schellas said to them in the locker room. But for Busch, the score would be level right now.

Ouch. I like Ricardo Salazar, and he is without a doubt one of the better referees in MLS, but he really blew a call just now that we really needed. Ramiro Corrales brought down David Ferreira at the top of the box, and Mr. Salazar just plain missed it.

Well . . . no one's perfect. Maybe he heard Carlos Ruiz was back in the league and mistook him for David.

Ohhhhhhhhh. Young Fabian just picked up the ball on the touch line, about 40 yards from goal, made a bee line for the box, popped a little cross to the goal, only to have Milton head it over the bar. This kid is giving me goose bumps. Plus, when he's going full speed, I'm pretty sure time compresses.

Whoever found this kid and brought him to Dallas should get an immediate bonus. A bar of gold, perhaps, or one of those tiny giraffes like in the DirecTv commercial. Something.

George John barely misses pulling one back with a header. Just for the record, I'm a huge George John fan. It doesn't rise to the level of man-crush, mind you, but I really like the kid. He's got size, talent, brains, humility, and a tough, winner's attitude. No down side to this guy.

Non Sequitur Alert:

Also, did you know his Dad's name is John John? I mean, come on, how cool is that?

Another huge save by Jon Busch, this time a diving-to-the-right save off of a Ruben Luna header. Busch is getting better with age, like fine wine. Which is ironic, since he's named after beer.

Well, full time. This was about as encouraging as a 2-0 defeat could possibly be, in any alternative universe you could conjure up. Which is to say, slightly, but not very. The first half was dismal, but the second half was unquestionably better. But for a pretty nice goalkeeping job, we'd have another draw on our hands.

And, wow, Fabian Castillo. That was a nice glimpse of our future (I hope).

I'm afraid 2-0 losses at home, however, are not going to be what it takes to get big crowds to come to the park. And we need that as much as we need goals, in the long run.

Anyway, it's early in the season. Lots of soccer left to play. See you next week for The Crew.

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