My 'not making the trip to Dallas' streak continues tonight, unfortunately, so I'm watching courtesy of the good folks at ESPN2 (or as I like to call it, “The Dos”).

The crowd is so sparse and quiet that I could swear I'm overhearing a private conversation in the stands.

Oh, hey, we get an early goal. That's been helpful so far this year, hasn't it?

Huh?

Sorry, it's been a bad week.

It's not very often you see Kasey Keller foul a guy in the box. It's also not very often you see him upbraid one of his defenders. Both these things just happened. Jeff Cunningham knocks down the PK for the lead.

up·braid
transitive verb
Etymology: Middle English upbreyden, from Old English kpbregdan.
1 : to criticize severely : find fault with
2 : to reproach severely : scold vehemently

This is not an entertaining game. I'm actually considering switching to Flash Forward. Today is the day Demetri died in his vision, and that creepy Dyson guy kidnapped him at the end of last week's show.

Oh, the Sounders just equalized.

Anyway, apparently Dyson Frost has been flashing forward for about 20 years, which is how he left the video for the FBI agents to find when they were in Somalia, and how he was able to name Demetri in his message even though Demetri was in elementary school when he made the video.

Meanwhile, Olivia and Simcoe have, well, you know what they've done . . . hate her.

Hmm? Oh, it's 1-1 at the half. I think Kasey Keller hurt himself somehow; looks like they're going to sub him out for the 2nd half.

I wonder if Mark knows about Olivia and Simcoe.

Max Bretos and Alexi Lalas are the halftime team for ESPN. I think it was the stoic philosopher Seneca who taught us we are not compelled to have an opinion about every single thing in this life. So I'm going with Seneca on this one.

Keller's understudy doesn't look old enough to drive himself to the games. Of course, I'm in my 40's and all these guys (well, Keller excepted) kind of look like middle-schoolers to me.

Oh no, Fredy Montero, you did not just try to chip Dario Sala, young man. Don't even. Here's another tip, kid, don't look to see if the AR has raised the flag while you're on a breakaway. Just, you know, break away.

ESPN just showed a really nice shot of the Inferno. Hammster got some good screen time. You go boy.

I guess I made Montero mad with my gentle chiding a few sentences ago, because he just threw it back in my face with a beautiful goal from 40 freakin' yards out. Vindictive so-and-so.

sol·ip·sism
Noun
Etymology: Latin sMlus, alone + ipse, self
1. Egoistic self-absorption

Avila comes in for McCarty. Glad to see Eric come in, but not glad to see Dax go out. I believe this is what the educated folks call a paradox. Or an oxymoron. Or a temporal displacement. Or something – in any case I have mixed feelings about it.

Of course, the death of Al Gough a few episodes ago proved that Flash Forwards are not necessarily pre-ordained to come true. So, Demetri doesn't have to die in this episode, or at all, and the internal logic of the series is maintained. So that's a good thing.

Break Shea in for Jair Benitez. Glad to see Brek out of the gaffer's dog house. Though no one seems to know what he could have done to get there in the first place.

Nice save by Terry Boss. What a great name for a keeper. Terry Boss. His Chris Berman nickname would be “The” or maybe “Bruce”.

If that is in fact his real name.

Another great soccer name coming in the game for Seattle. Freddie L. Jungberg.

Or something like that.

Speaking of guys who don't look like they're waiting to get their driver's license.

Okay I'm switching over to Flash Forward.

Crap, it's only an hour long, it's over.

Wait, I recorded it!

Oh, man, I didn't see that coming.

Okay, back to the matter at hand.

I don't know anything about Boss, but he doesn't play like a scared rookie. He's very confident and in control.

Yeisley in for Pearce. I haven't seen Yeisley yet. Is this his debut?

I hate the ticker that scrolls across the bottom of the screen on ESPN. But having said that, it just showed that Milwaukee beat Pittsburgh 20-0 today.

That's Twenty.

To Zero.

In Baseball.

That buzzing noise you hear is Roberto Clemente spinning in his grave.

Ljungberg is going down with the slightest touch, then yelling at Terry Vaughn for not giving him the foul. Really, Freddie? This ain't exactly the Arsenal, pal. Cowboy up and get to work.

(Great, now he's going to march down and score, just to spite me)

Or not.

Nice shot of The Inferno again, this time they're rockin' the red flare smoke. Nice.

Creditable showing by the Seattle fans - looks like about two dozen people made the trip. Well done to you good folks. I'm glad the volcano ash didn't keep you from traveling.

(I'm kidding – I know Seattle isn't near Iceland. It's over there by Australia)

This is excruciating! Somebody do something!

Oh. Okay, that will do. Yeisley gets taken down in the box, in injury time. Perhaps another last gasp draw for the boys?

YES!

Jeff slides it past the Boss and then goes over to give some love to the Inferno. He grabs Mom's famous “Goal” sign, that she's had forever, and poses for the camera.

Well played, Jeff.

John Harkes says he didn't see a foul; But then, he played in England where whacking a guy's ankle is called “Defense”.

So. Three points from four games. I should be more upset, but I'm not. We're showing spirit and tenacity. Lots of progress from last year. The year is young. Once we get some finishing going, we're going to be trouble. Terrible trouble. Right here in River City. Etcetera etcetera.

Okay, see you next week for the Revs.