Footballs are round: Keller deserves better

July, 16, 2010
7/16/10
11:09
PM CT
So, I'm watching the Seattle/DC match on Thursday Night Football (because 'Burn Notice' wasn't on yet) when I see something I never thought I'd see: American fans booing Kasey Keller.

It seems KK twisted his ankle pretty violently. He stayed on the ground for a few minutes, then had the gall to remain in the game and, like a man, continue shutting out United. Every time he touched the ball after that, the DC fans had the temerity to boo him, as if he had been dpretending to be hurt.

Where to begin?

Well, first of all, ankle injuries hurt. A lot. And if you saw the replay, and you have ever really hurt your ankle, you probably got a little dizzy. It hurts like . . . it hurts like a really bad word used as a substitute for coming up with a simile for something that hurts really bad. Just because it stops hurting, slightly, after a few minutes doesn't mean anything, apart from the fact that Kasey Keller is to soccer what Chuck Norris is to . . . well, everything. Only an idiot could entertain the notion Kasey Keller was faking the funk.

But that's really beside the point.

The point is that Keller has done enough in his career to get a free pass, or at least the benefit of the doubt, from any fan in this great land of ours.

What is wrong with you people there in DC? Booing Kasey? It's like booing George Washington. It's like booing Major Dick Winters, or Audie Murphy. It's like booing you mom while throwing an apple pie in the dirt while blowing your nose with the American flag.

Look, I know that being a hero for the national team doesn't automatically give you a free pass. As much as I love Landon Donovan, I'm still going to rag him unmercifully next time he plays Dallas. He'll understand. Same with Edson Buddle. Everybody really likes the kid, and rightly so, but when he shows up in Frisco wearing a Galaxy jersey, people are going to question his masculinity and genealogy, and there's no two ways about that. We're compelled to do it. It's our duty, nay, our calling. That's the way it goes. And next time he puts on the USA colors, he'll be our guy again. This is the way of our tribe.

But not Kasey.

Have you guys forgotten?

Kasey gets a free pass. End of story.

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