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Sunday, May 29, 2011
Stream of consciousness: FC Dallas at Houston Dynamo

By DJ Walker

The encyclopedia says Stream of Consciousness is “a narrative mode that seeks to portray an individual's point of view by giving the written equivalent of the character's thought processes”. In other words, DJ watches games, and writes down whatever comes to mind. Sometimes prescient, sometimes odd, almost always entertaining.

Not many people know this, but humidity was invented in Houston. By Sam Houston himself.

Yeah, true story.

Big night for Bobby Warshaw. The rookie gets the start in place of the groined-up George John. Yes, I just coined the phrase 'groined-up' for guys carrying groin injuries. Help spread it around if you can.

The phrase, not groin injuries.

Oh look, Terry Vaughn is the referee tonight. What could go wrong with that?

Some remind me again why we ever got rid of Brad Davis?

Speaking of Brad Davis, he just saw fit to get in Fabian Castillo's face, then before he knew it he was squaring off with Daniel Hernandez. Be smart, Brad, back off from that one. Getting in Castillo's face is safe and makes you look tough; Squaring off with Capi, not so much.

Halfway through the first half, no score, and no end to that horrid brass section the Houston front office hires each week to lend atmosphere for the fans. And by atmosphere, I mean “annoying cacaphony that makes normal people want to gouge their ears out”. I hear they're a hard group to book; they have a standing gig at Gitmo, torturing detainees.

OH, GOALAZO! JACOBSON! MAGIC!

Fabian Castillo drills a shot from 20 yards out, it hits the crossbar, rebounds all the way to the edge of the 18 to Andrew Jacobson, who heads it past Tally Hall, who was still getting up from trying to save the initial shot.

The downside is that Castillo looks to have twisted his ankle on the play.

Okay, he's back in there. Oh to be 18 again.

Oh my. Philadelphia beat Toronto 6-2 today. In Toronto. Aron Winter may not be around long enough to establish legal residency in Canada. This is a team that goes through coaches like most people go through contact lenses. Philadelphia must have cashed in their collective birthday wishes, lost teeth, and letters to Santa on this game.

Well crap. Cam Weaver ties the game in the 43rd minute. That magnificent SOB Brad Davis sets him up perfectly. Tie game going to the half. It's a fair score, especially since Houston has had about 2/3 of the possession.

But getting dominated in possession is no big deal, right? Look at Manchester Uni . . .

Never mind. Bad example.

Second half, and it only takes Kevin Hartman two minutes to rob Lovel Palmer for the second time tonight. He is so good.

I suppose at 37 Kevin is too old to be in the national team picture, as deep as we are at that position. Which is fine, really, because I don't want him gone, at all, this season or next, but Bob Bradley has a reputation for rewarding good club form with USA call ups. Hartman certainly deserves the honor.

Lots of pressure from FC Dallas right now (60th minute). Opposite of the first half. Fun to watch.

Oh wow. Brek Shea just busted out a 60 yard run, capped off by a long shot that forced a really fine save by Tally Hall. Had that gone in it would have made every highlight show on the planet. And some in outer space.

GOAL! 2-1! MAGIC!

Freakin' Bobby Rhine is a mystic psychic of some type. As Marvin Chavez was lining up his corner kick, Bobby says “Keep an eye on Ihemelu” and ten seconds later Ugo bulls his way through a crowd of Dynamo markers and heads in the goal from six yards out.

Bobby, how do you feel about this week's Powerball drawing? Send me an email, if you don't mind.

Bad to worse for the Dynamo. Kofi Sarkodie sees a second yellow for a hard tackle from behind on Brek Shea. A goal down and man down. 18 minutes to play.

That's a darn shame, ain't it?

I am forced to compliment Terry Vaughn on his handling of the call. Which tastes kind of bitter, but what's right is right.

Dallas is doing a nice job of controlling possession now that they have the lead. They're nothing like Barcelona in terms of knocking it around at will for as long as they want, but there's no shame in that, is there? The only team as good at possession as Barca is Spain, which is almost a redundant statement.

I was just going to write “I get nervous every time Brad Davis gets a touch”, and as I was tapping the keys, he did it again. Perfectly weighted ball to Colin Clarke, who manages, somehow, beyond all probability and likelihood, to beat Hartman and make it two-all.

Brad Davis is truth.

Tie score, two minutes left.

Insert your favorite vulgarity here.

Three minutes stoppage.

Scheiße.


I guess you can't really complain about a point on the road, especially in Houston, but it feels more like two points lost. Still, what a good performance overall. Good start for Warshaw, good stuff from AJ. Good defense, except for the part where they didn't tie Brad Davis up in the locker room before the opening whistle. A very entertaining game.

And we get to keep the cannon. So there. See you next week for The Revs.