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McAfee to Clowney: Please don't hurt me

7/21/2014

We love a punter who doesn't take himself too seriously.

Shoot, we love anyone who doesn't take himself too seriously in the often humorless world of NFL football.

Colts punter Pat McAfee is that man. After Texans rookie outside linebacker Jadeveon Clowney told USA Today his goal as a rookie was to sack Andrew Luck, McAfee had a message for Clowney during a segment on NFL Network:

"Well, hello, Mr. Clowney. Here's the deal, you ran a 4.50 40, you're an absolute physical freak. You're going to be taking on our offensive line. But if you ever think about coming on fourth downs, please don't hurt me. I mean, please do not hurt me. You are an absolute monster.

"But if you want to mess with our quarterback, I think you need to watch a little tape here before you come mess with my guy, my teammate, my compadre, No. 12 Andrew Luck."

A video of McAfee knocking Broncos returner Trindon Holliday out of bounds played while McAfee continued.

"You see, this is what I would do," he said. "I would close my eyes and run as fast as I can. If we just so happen to run into each other, hopefully you don't kill me. And hopefully, bang, that'll happen. That is complete luck. I understand you're not 5-foot-9, I understand you're probably bigger than me. Well, no, that's not probably. I've been eating a little bit but you're definitely bigger than me.

"But if you just so happen to disrespect Andrew Luck, my guy, my showermate, I will run with my eyes fully closed right at you. Just like Shawne Merriman it will be lights out."