New Year's resolutions for the Dodgers

January, 1, 2014
Jan 1
Some unsolicited suggestions for key Dodgers in 2014:

Clayton Kershaw: Just sign the darn contract already.

Yasiel Puig: Just because a car can break the land speed record doesn't mean it should.

Hanley Ramirez: Use a new contract to hire engineers to design you a Dodgers uniform composed of bubble wrap.

Don Mattingly: Cut down on the sacrifice bunts. Oh, and wait a couple of extra days after the season to cool off before meeting the press.

Stan Kasten: Give your fans a little more credit. If you explain that you prefer to keep managers on one-year contracts, they'll probably get it.

Ned Colletti: Don't gut the farm system for a declining veteran, even if it seems like just what you need at the deadline and even if he has a winning pedigree.

Adrian Gonzalez: Play with the flare you showed in the postseason all year long.

Alexander Guerrero: Comport yourself with quiet dignity. Then, perhaps we can be spared the amateur sociologists in the sports world ascribing Puig's antics to his Cuban heritage.

(Ex-Dodger) Mark Ellis: Keep playing the way you play, but please, please don't say it's because of the "Cardinal Way."

Kenley Jansen: Do you really have to come in from the bullpen to "California Love?" You were nine when the guy who made that song died.

Dan Haren: Remember that Cher song, "If I Could Turn Back Time?" Awful song, but good idea.

Hyun-Jin Ryu: According to the In 'N Out Burger menu, one Double-Double has 670 calories. A quadruple-quadruple is too much.

Brian Wilson: Braid your beard so you look exactly like Khal Drogo from "Game of Thrones."

Juan Uribe: We know you signed a two-year deal, but do us a favor and just pretend you're a free agent next fall.

Zack Greinke: Even if you really don't like a hitter, after you hit him with a pitch just get out of the way when he charges.

A.J. Ellis: When you guys play the Cardinals, text Kershaw the signs.

Carl Crawford: We get that Boston wasn't your favorite place to play, but it's OK to let it go.

Andre Ethier: Become the best fourth outfielder in baseball.

Matt Kemp: Whatever "beast mode" means, give everyone a reason to say it again.

Mark Saxon
Mark Saxon is a staff writer for He spent six years at the Orange County Register, and began his career at the Oakland Tribune, where he started an 11-year journey covering Major League Baseball. He has also covered colleges, including USC football and UCLA basketball.



Use a Facebook account to add a comment, subject to Facebook's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Your Facebook name, photo & other personal information you make public on Facebook will appear with your comment, and may be used on ESPN's media platforms. Learn more.


Clayton Kershaw
19 1.70 219 185
BAY. Puig .297
HRA. Gonzalez 23
RBIA. Gonzalez 106
RD. Gordon 88
OPSY. Puig .860
ERAC. Kershaw 1.70
SOC. Kershaw 219