Los Angeles Lakers: Rob Kardashian

Artest/World Peace Cha-Cha's on DTWS: At the buzzer

September, 19, 2011
Kamenetzky By Brian Kamenetzky
Metta World Peace, apparently still called Ron Artest for the purposes of reality television, made his Dancing With the Stars debut Monday night, busting out a cha-cha with partner Peta Murgatroyd. Click here for the video. And since we don't have actual games to break down -- and may not for a while -- we're going to give his performance the standard Land O'Lakers postgame treatment. (In other news, I'm ready for the lockout to end.)

Here's how it broke down...

The Good:
  1. Huevos. The man danced a cha-cha on national television. Let's give him some credit. Did MWP and Peta remind me of internationally renowned ballroom titans Bryan Watson and Carmen Vincelj? No, they did not. But then again, let's see Bryan Watson do this. While I'm not exactly an expert in this arena, it looked like MWP was having a good time. You wouldn't expect otherwise, but the man didn't shrink from the spotlight, bringing what would be called a "fun factor."
  2. Potentially Useful Phrases and Nicknames. Bruno the Italian Judge referred to MWP as "Danceatron," before complimenting his "length of bone" (which I understood to be a synonym for "tall") and "performance value." This is all stuff we can put to good use once the season starts, and likely will. Even the negative stuff, like Len the British Guy's belief MWP's performance was "all sizzle, no sausage" will absolutely come in handy.
  3. Lamar Odom's Commercial for Pistachio Nuts. In which L.O. appears to have Artest-esque stars shaved into his head. Good to know he's staying busy, and allowing me to multi-task by keeping track of two Lakers during one broadcast ...
The Bad:
  1. Scores. They were pretty low. Two 5's and a 4, for a total of 14. Len just shredded him, calling his footwork "atrocious," saying the dance "lacked cha-cha content," and that it was "not my cup of tea." As a British guy, the man knows tea. Carrie the Nice Judge, even while trying to be just that, basically compared his actual dancing, on a technical level, to a puddle. That's not good. She did call him sexy, though, which MWP appreciated.

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Kobe Bryant
22.3 5.6 1.3 34.5
ReboundsJ. Hill 8.0
AssistsK. Bryant 5.6
StealsR. Price 1.6
BlocksE. Davis 1.3