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Mercer beats Sylvia; boxing's death rattle delayed

Tim Sylvia, Ray MercerFred Beeson for ESPN.com

Tim-ber! Tim Sylvia plunged to new depths in losing to Ray Mercer in nine seconds.

An engorged former UFC heavyweight champion, Tim Sylvia, showed up for a fight in Birmingham, Ala., Saturday against lumbering, 48-year-old, ex-heavyweight champion boxer Ray Mercer, weighing 310 pounds.

Result? Sylvia got knocked into a previously undiscovered level of Internet infamy, teetering over just nine seconds into the bout. It was said to be MMA, but the event was such a disorganized and confusing mess -- bounced from New Jersey, rules debated, briefly cancelled -- that Sylvia may have thought they were set to play checkers when the bell rang.

You'd better believe Bob Arum, Lou DiBella, Floyd Mayweather, and other contentious boxing investors with an inferiority complex, will be reveling in this for the foreseeable future.