Tuesday, February 14, 2012
A look inside Big Ten Valentine's Day
By Adam Rittenberg and Brian Bennett
The haters had their fun on Monday, but it's time to feel the love again in the Big Ten. Sure, this might not seem like the league of love lately, especially after the last recruiting cycle, but Valentine's Day will make it all better (riiight).
Fortunately for you, we intercepted a few of the Valentine's missives being sent around the Big Ten.
Check 'em out ...
To: Bret Bielema
From: Urban Meyer
Bret, we got off to a bad start, but you'll grow to love me. Maybe even my recruiting methods, too. Remember what Ohio State fans thought of me in January 2007? Now, I'm king of Columbus! I've already forgiven you for your poor choice of words (this card, by the way, was sent legally through U.S. mail). I'll be sure to send you weekly updates on Kyle Dodson. Only 277 days until we meet in Madison. Save me a brat! ... Toodles
To: Urban Meyer
From: Bret Bielema
When leading by 27 ... go for two! When leading by 36 ... go for two!
To: Urban Meyer
From: Bret Bielema
Urban, sorry about the last card. Meant to send it to Tim Brewster. My bad.
To: Brady Hoke
From: Michigan fans
Gotta admit, we were a little concerned about your losing record. And the fact you weren't named Jim Harbaugh. But you were a Michigan man, dammit, unlike that last schlub. Plus, you actually cared about defense (Mattison rules!). Thanks for making us proud again. Now beat Ohio State every year.
To: College football fans
From: Jim Delany and Big Ten athletic directors
We're giving you your stinking playoff -- and this card. Happy?
To: Sugar Bowl CEO Paul Hoolahan
From: Jim Delany
I know you guys took some heat for selecting Virginia Tech, but it was a great call. People rag on the Big Ten, but think how bad it'd be if there weren't these ACC teams completely incapable of winning BCS bowls. You da man! Any time you want to pair us against the ACC, don't hesitate!
To: Pat Narduzzi
From: Mark Dantonio
Thanks for staying. Don't worry, there's a check included. Let's give 'em 840 minutes of unnecessary roughness this year!
To: Notre Dame Fighting Irish
From: Denard Robinson
Who knew one team could make one player look so awesome? I love you guys! See ya in September!
To: Nebraska fans
From: Bo Pelini
I know you're not happy about the meltdowns against Wisconsin, Michigan and South Carolina. Or the reports linking me to other jobs. Or some of the assistant coach hires. Or the fact we had more walk-ons than scholarship players in the last recruiting class. But we can take the next step and make you proud. I've matured as a coach. I'm a little calmer and a little more self-aware. I might put some Gandhi quotes around the complex. Let's get off the roller coaster and start riding the wave of enlightenment. GBR! Om.
To: The end zone
From: Montee Ball
Had so much fun visiting this past season, I'll be back for more!
To: Matthew McGloin
From: Curtis Drake
The past is the past, Matty. Let's go knock out the other teams in 2012!
To: Iowa's running backs
From: Kirk Ferentz
Thanks for sticking around, guys. Some of the others must have gotten a bit confused. Told them to run to the end zone, not the nearest Greyhound station.
To: Denard Robinson and Taylor Lewan
From: William Gholston
Can't wait to throw my arms around you guys again this season. Really, really looking forward to Oct. 20.
To: Floyd of Rosedale
From: Minnesota fans
We love makin' bacon with you. Please stay with us forever.
To: NCAA infractions committee
From: Gene Smith
I thought love meant never having to say you're sorry. I guess you didn't think my attempt of asking for your forgiveness was enough. But it's OK. I've moved on and ended up in a much healthier relationship. Let's never fight again.
To: Indiana Hoosiers
From: Ron Zook
When up by seven, go for two! C'mon, you know you'll miss me.