For $20M, you too can have Mr. Met access

There is nothing really rich people like less than having an embarrassing story on the cover of the New York Times. This story, from Richard Sandomir, appeared on the front page of the Times today. So, another dark day in the crumbling Wilpon ownership. Let's get to some of the details, which would be hilarious if they didn't underline the disgrace this situation has become.

The story details how for $20 million, you can have a non-controlling interest in the Mets. What does this entail? Well, let's look at the highlights from the term sheet the Times obtained (with Sandomir's little slaps included below). For $20M, you get:

¶ Access to Mr. Met, the team mascot, although the degree of access is not entirely spelled out. It definitely means you, as a part-owner, can schmooze with Mr. Met at Citi Field. It’s less clear whether you could get him to come to your child’s birthday party without a fee.

¶ A formal business card, complete with the prominent designation: “Owner.”

¶ And if you are a wealthy doctor, commodities trader or real estate mogul who wants to try to swat the ball over the newly pulled-in outfield fences at Citi Field on a Mets day off, you are entitled to attend what appears to be an exclusive kind of fantasy camp: “Owners’ workout day.”

You also get discounted tickets, free parking and discounted team apparel. Yippee!

The stakes in the team are being sold off because, as you may have heard, the Wilpons are doing a new variation of the movie Trading Places.

So, step right up, readers of this blog, bail the Wilpons out and you, too, can see Mr. Met often and park for free!!!

We know this situation is dreadful for you, Mets fans, so let's lighten the mood a little here -- use the comments section below to suggest some additional perks the Mets could include with their ownership stakes.

What would it take for you to buy in, and how much are you willing to offer? (Keep it clean.)