If you missed Sunday night's "60 Minutes" story on Anthony Bosch because you were watching the Golden Globes, what were you thinking? Well, you're in luck, because we have clips right here, courtesy of CBS News (Part 2 is at the bottom of this post), plus all the informative and entertaining takeaways from the interview.
We'll do this using headlines, starting with the biggest takeaway from the show.
Bosch: Everybody is doing it
"What is fair play?" Bosch said. "Let me ask you that question. Follow me in thought. Here I am, I'm Alex [Rodriguez]. I'm at the plate. I know that the guy that is throwing the 95-mile-an-hour pitch is on sports performance enhancing drugs. The guy who is going to catch the ball is on a program. The guy who is going to slide into third, he is on it. Fair play. If everyone is on it?"
Why would MLB want this out there? Their biggest witness, the man who got A-Rod suspended for a season, the man whom everyone is supposed to believe, says "everyone" in baseball is using performance enhancing drugs. Hmm.
Bosch also said beating the system was a "cakewalk." I don't see how this is a good thing for MLB.
A-Rod to Bosch: Get outta town
According to Bosch, A-Rod's associates offered to send Bosch to Colombia and would give him $25,000 a month for his silence. Bosch said A-Rod approved it all, but Bosch declined to go along with the proposal. A-Rod's lawyer, Joe Tacopina, denied this on his client's behalf.
Bosch: I feared for my life (sorta)
A text to Bosch's ex-girlfriend from an alleged A-Rod associate said that Bosch may not see the end of the year if he didn't do the right thing.
So who did Bosch turn to? The police? Nope. Bud Selig? Bingo.
Bosch told MLB that there were threats on his life, then did a deal with the league for a bunch of money.
Bosch: Those gummies are sure yummy
Also called testosterone troches (lozenges that dissolve in the mouth), gummies sound like something a kid should be eating. But call them troches (tro-kees) and it sounds more like something you'd give to a baby.
Anyway, according to Bosch, A-Rod would take his gummy like a good boy before first pitch and then he would pass any random MLB drug test after the game.
"They would test clean," Bosch said.
Timing is everything. Bosch said that if A-Rod took his gummies any later than the first inning, he would put himself in jeopardy to fail a test a couple of hours later. Apparently, Mr. Bosch never sat through a Red Sox-Yankees game on a Sunday night.
Have you no decency?
Scott Pelley, the CBS News anchor who conducted the interviews in stentorian tones, asked Bosch if he ever said to edge-seeking players, "This breaks the rules of baseball."
Then -- like Walter White talking to Jesse -- Bosch told Pelley he wanted to help the players take steroids the right way.
Later, he mentioned that A-Rod paid him $12,000 a month.
Pelley asked Bosch if he ever thought about the integrity of the game. Bosch said he never did. Hmm, who'da thunk it? Alleged drug dealer didn't think about the "integrity of the game."
I'm pretty sure he was thinking about the $12,000 per month from A-Rod.
"I love the game of baseball," Bosch said.
Pelley responded: "How can you love the game of baseball and do this to the game?"
"Unfortunately, this is part of baseball," Bosch said. "This is part of baseball."
Bosch claimed he told A-Rod how to correctly to beat the test. As you read this, remember Bosch has no formal training.
"You want to start the test, then introduce the urine cup into the stream," Bosch said. "What you want to capture is the middle of the stream, not the beginning or not the end of the stream. That was extremely important. Most of the metabolites are at the beginning of the stream or at the end of the stream."
Was A-Rod clean in '09?
Bosch said he and A-Rod didn't team up until 2010. So I guess it is possible that A-Rod was not on anything when he had his October of a lifetime in 2009. Perhaps not probable, but possible.
Alex was a student of the game ...
"Alex cared," Bosch said. "Alex wanted to know. He would study the product. He would study the substance. He would study the dosages."
... Or maybe he didn't care that much
Bosch, who is not a doctor, said that he needed to know how long drugs stayed in A-Rod's body so A-Rod wouldn't test positive. Bosch said he could tell how long it took for drugs to dissipate.
One night, according to Bosch, A-Rod was at a Miami nightclub instead of on time for his appointment. So Bosch hoofed it to the club -- and took A-Rod's blood sample in a bathroom stall.
Asked what he was thinking, Bosch said, "I'm not getting paid enough."
A-Rod's goal: 800 home run club
"Which was only going to have one member," Bosch said, sporting a big smile. "Alex Rodriguez."