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Sunday, April 1, 2012
The Translator, Special Edition: Alex Rodriguez


The Translator is a recurring feature of the blog in which we take what someone actually said and feed it into our state-of-the-art translation machine, which spits out what (we think) they really meant.

Ten minutes of Alex Rodriguez generally produces a wealth of material for The Translator, and today was no exception.

Much of A-Rod's news conference before today's game concerned his childhood in Miami, which he called "our 'hood.''

But asked how far away he actually lived from the site of the new Marlins Park, this is what he said: "I took four buses to get here. Miami is a lot like New York so not too far in miles but a little complicated because it's very dense. I would probably say 15 miles. It's a place called West Kendall.''

Translation: "I lived nowhere near 'the hood.' I was a daytripper from suburbia.''

A little later, he said he was "A little emotional because (I live) right down the street,'' but when asked how close his house is now and how close his high school, Westminster Christian, was from the park, he said: "I know you guys are all going to Google map this, so, about 10 miles from here and my high school was about another 14 or 15 miles south of that.''

Translation: "Before you guys use high-tech surveillance tools to catch me saying something that might be untrue, let me admit I that I don't live anywhere near this part of town and I went to school about 25 miles away from here.''