Don't get pummeled into oblivion

May, 28, 2012
5/28/12
8:00
AM ET


First, San Francisco 49ers quarterback Alex Smith pumped up his biceps.

When you pump up your biceps, you develop some swagger.

When you develop some swagger, you go 13-3 as a starter and advance to the NFC Championship Game.

When you go 13-3 and reach the NFC Championship Game, you get a little cocky.

When you get a little cocky, you suggest you could beat out Peyton Manning in an open QB competition.

When you suggest you could beat out Peyton Manning, you suddenly realize Pro Bowl voters robbed you.

When you think Pro Bowl voters robbed you, you resent a rookie from a 6-10 team going to Hawaii instead.

When you resent a rookie going instead of you, you take unsolicited shots at Cam Newton's credentials.

When you take unsolicited shots at Cam Newton's credentials, stud linebacker Jon Beason rips you on Twitter.

When stud linebacker Jon Beason rips you on Twitter, your friend Patrick Willis, who is even studlier, rallies to your defense.

When someone as studly as Patrick Willis rallies to your defense, you start to feel invincible.

When you start to feel invincible, you contemplate a career in the UFC.

When you opt for a career in the UFC, Brazilian mixed-martial artist Junior dos Santos pummels you into oblivion.

Don't get pummeled into oblivion.

Embrace the low-keyed style that worked so well for you in the past.

Your turn: OK, the best Smith-related adaptation of those DirecTV commercials gets special mention on the blog. Oh, and enjoy your Memorial Day.

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