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Friday, September 2, 2011
Beach soccer? We can do better than that

By Jim Caple

FIFA president Sepp Blatter said Thursday he wants beach soccer included in the 2016 Olympics because the sport originated in the host city of Rio de Janeiro. I think this is a great idea because pretty much the one complaint most people have about the Olympics is that there aren’t enough sports to follow already.

So in addition to beach soccer, here are some other sports that should be added:

Beach basketball: Just like regular basketball, but with a whole lot less dribbling.

Ice soccer: Like ice hockey, but no skates (though a lot of red cards).

Beach tennis: Kind of like clay court, but even slower. Still, I can’t wait to see what Serena Williams would wear for it.

Water soccer: Like water polo, but no hands allowed, so players must swim upside-down, passing the ball with their feet.

Rhythmic soccer: Just like regular soccer but indoors, with classical music and judges scoring flops on a 6.0 scale.

Synchronized soccer: Actually, I’m not sure how this would work, but it sounds good.