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Best/worst stadium music playlist challenge

6/1/2014

The SEC announced on Friday that it would allow in-stadium music or artificial noise until the center is over the ball. This makes a home field an even greater advantage, as suddenly a stadium that isn't even sold out can be overflowing with noise.

This news excited the Pac-12 blog, because we like to consider ourselves connoisseurs of music. And it’s not below us to enjoy (OK, maybe even love) the idea of bad, bad music being blasted through some SEC stadium speakers. I challenged my fellow writers to rack their melodious brains as we embarked on a dangerous voyage (#ForTheReaders) of trying to come up with the best 13-song playlist for the SEC to consider this fall.

Alabama, Auburn: Take note, because by best, we mean worst. So get out the Band-Aids, because your ears are about to bleed.


Ted Miller:

1. "Total Eclipse of the Heart" -- Bonnie Tyler

2. “Just Like Heaven” -- The Cure

3. “The Rite of Spring” -- Igor Stravinsky

4. “Achy Breaky Heart” -- Billy Ray Cyrus

5. "I Just Called to Say I Love You" -- Stevie Wonder

6. "All By Myself" -- Celine Dion

7. “Creep” -- Radiohead

8. "The One That You Love" -- Air Supply

9. “Girls Just Want To Have Fun” -- Cyndi Lauper

10. “Every Time You Go Away” -- Paul Young

11. “Sussudio” -- Phil Collins

12. Nielsen's Fifth Symphony

13. “We Built This City” -- Starship

Miller's argument for best/worst playlist: I basically picked songs that: 1. Would make me not want to play or watch football; 2. Would make me want to murder whoever was in charge of the playlist. I also think it’s not unreasonable to suspect that a jury would find me not guilty, basing their verdict on a consensus that my actions were either justifiable or I was provoked into temporary insanity. Not all these songs are lousy. Radiohead and Stravinsky, for example, are perfect for self-absorbed navel gazing. I could even probably get through all these songs until Starship chirped in, at which point Hari-Kari would be necessary if murder weren’t an option.


Kyle Bonagura:

1. “Blue (Da Ba Dee)” -- Eiffel 65

2. “Rockstar” -- Nickelback

3. “Gangnam Style” -- Psy

4. A token Justin Bieber song

5. “Kung Fu Fighting” -- Carl Douglas

6. “Call Me Maybe” -- Carly Rae Jepsen

7. “Bad Day” -- Daniel Powter

8. Something that would be played during a massage

9. “Barbie Girl” -- Aqua

10. “Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego? (theme song)” -- Rockapella

11. “Who Let the Dogs Out” -- Baha Men

12. “Walking on Sunshine” -- Katrina and The Waves

13. “We Are the Champions” -- Queen

Bonagura's argument for best/worst playlist: Incomplete pass in the second quarter of a tie game and the in-stadium PA system plays ______. Close your eyes (or don’t) and imagine that scenario with one of songs from the list. Those feelings you’re having are a mixture of confusion, disorientation, distrust, sadness and anger. They’re all wrong for their own reasons. Also, related issue, "Gangnam Style" has more than two billion views on YouTube? That means mankind has invested the equivalent of 16,121 years into watching it.


Chantel Jennings:

1. “Let It Go” -- "Frozen" soundtrack

2. “Photograph” -- Nickelback

3. “Call Me Maybe” -- Carly Rae Jepsen

4. “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” -- Green Day

5. “Barbie Girl” -- Aqua

6. “Daughters” -- John Mayer

7. “Blue (Da Ba Dee)” -- Eiffel 65

8. “Speed of Sound” -- Coldplay

9. “What Does the Fox Say?” -- Ylvis

10. “Collide” -- Howie Day

11. “Yellow Submarine” -- The Beatles

12. “Beautiful Soul” -- Jesse McCartney

13. “Macarena” -- Los del Rio

Jennings' argument for best/worst playlist: My playlist alternates between songs that constantly get stuck in your head and songs from Billboard’s Top 100 songs of 2005. My attempt here was to pacify as much as possible. You start, then alternate, with music that’s just going to ruin any kind of focus players could have possibly mustered by making the stadium resonate with Eiffel 65 or Ylvis. Wouldn’t you like the opposing wide receiver to hear the play call and then immediately think, “Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, so call me maybe!” Then you throw in a little 2005 chart-topper to take players back to their grade-school days -- a little John Mayer or Nickelback to remind these guys about that fifth-grade crush, because nothing ruins a third-and-2 like memories of Darla.