Monday, February 14, 2011
By Ted Miller
It's Valentines Day. I know. Awesome.
Because we are so captivated by the spirit of the holiday, which isn't a holiday, we're handing out Roses to the Pac-12. Just like our hero does.
A Rose for Arizona quarterback Nick Foles: Nick, you lose all five starting offensive linemen, but don't think of this rose as something you'd get at a funeral. Really.
A Rose for Arizona State linebacker Vontaze Burfict: Vontaze, buddy, stop and smell the flowers. Er, rose. Chill. Breathe. You're going to have several million dollars in the bank 14 months from now. No need to act so crazy.
A Rose for California coach Jeff Tedford: Jeff, it's not really about the rose. It's the guy giving it to you. It's Aaron Rodgers. He's back. With four more years of eligibility.
A Rose for Colorado running back Rodney Stewart: Does anyone know you rushed for 1,318 yards last season? No? Well, here's a rose and a guess you're going to be the "Who the heck is that guy?" player in the Pac-12.
A Rose for Oregon coach Chip Kelly: You don't like my rose, Chip? Oh, did I mention that Nick Fairley is allergic to roses? And that this rose doubles as a time machine? And you can go back and get quarterback Darron Thomas to make the right read on the first play of the second quarter?
A Rose for Oregon State: But it's not just a rose. It's a Rose Bowl. You like?
A Rose for Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck: Not to get all serious, but we're glad you're back. Stay healthy.
A Rose for UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel: "Hey, Rick, the Pac-12 blog told me to give you this rose. I coach defense. My name is Dick LeBeau. Can I have a job?"
A Rose for USC coach Lane Kiffin: It's from the NCAA. Note reads: "Sorry. We were wrong about you and the Trojans." Anybody have any idea what that means?
A Rose for the Utah student section: They don't know about the MUSS yet, do they?
A Rose for Washington running back Chris Polk: Guess who finally gets the credit he deserves in 2011? Can I interest you in a Pac-12 rushing title, perhaps?
A Rose for Washington State: It has six petals. One for each win in 2011.