Ho. Ho. Ho.
Santa Claus here again. As if I've not got enough going on right now, the Pac-10 blog has enlisted me to reveal what conference teams wanted for Christmas this year.
The wish list is in reverse order of conference finish. Sort of like a naughty and nice list. Part I ran yesterday. This is Part II.
Again: Ho. Ho. Ho.
Mrs. Claus is such a card! She's from Alabama, by the way, so take this gift suggestion for what it's worth: A get out of (NCAA) jail free card! Ha! Ha! But that's not atop the Trojans list. Instead, they've torn a page from Austin Powers. The Trojans want their mojo back, baby.
Oh, Stanford, for such a smart school, well, come on! On top of the Cardinal list is a lifetime commitment from coach Jim Harbaugh. Yet you've got professors and other folks -- jealous? disingenuous? dense? -- protesting a bathroom remodel and a contract extension that only gave Harbaugh a below-average salary. Some gifts are for your own good. So Stanford, you get a copy of Adam Smith's "The Wealth of Nations." Santa despises greed, but he also is a capitalist. And if a $1.25 million annual salary for a coach who's generating revenue for a once-moribund program has your underpants in a wad, well, then drop down to the FCS level.
Hey, sorry about that Las Vegas Bowl, but let's just say that Santa was in Sin City for a bit of pre-Christmas fun and he also took a hit. As for a Christmas gift, this one is sort of obvious, eh? The Beavers want a fast start in 2010. Let's be more specific and call it an unbeaten September. I hear you Beavers, but tell your athletic director that scheduling road games with TCU and Boise State doesn't please Santa. Sorta makes this one an expensive gift.
Wildcats fans certainly are full of Christmas cheer. Hey, pretty smart of me giving you some sense two years ago when you were thinking about canning Mike Stoops. Looked at me like I gave you a bottle of castor oil at the time, but, hey, sometimes gifts become more meaningful with age. Looking at your 2010 depth chart here. Some nice things. But, golly, seven starters gone from the defense. Not good, particularly with the program developing high expectations. So consider the request for some emerging defensive stars under advisement.
You Ducks seem split. Do you want a Rose Bowl win. Or do you want what's behind door number two, a gift that requires patience as it doesn't mature for a year? A hint? Let's just say it's something new and it looks a lot like a Rose Bowl only different. It's played later. In Glendale, Ariz. That's all I'm saying. On Jan. 10, 2011.