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You don’t have to be drunk to race a horse down a mountain. But Darren Sulin swears it helped him. “I do seem to go a bit slower since I quit drinking,” says the 42-year-old Canadian, whose grin has been missing its front teeth since they were knocked out during a bull ride 15 years ago. “I guess when I was drinking, maybe I didn’t hold back.”

On this August day at the Redstone Rodeo in British Columbia, Sulin is the first of five racers to ease his horse to the starting line at the top of an unnamed mountain. Only from this vantage point can he truly comprehend the path ahead of him, which involves scrambling 1,500 feet down a steep, rocky trail in less than a minute. In the valley below, the noisy crowd that packs the bleachers looks like a trembling patchwork of little specks. The horses shudder and snort as the PA announcer’s voice echoes off the hills.

Every summer across Canada’s westernmost province, locals show off their riding and roping skills on the rodeo circuits. At three stops in the Cariboo-Chilcotin region—
a remote swath of grasslands, pine forests and mountains that is home to the six tribes of the Chilcotin Nation—they hold a separate competition native to the region: mountain racing. The sport strikes some outsiders as animal cruelty. The cowboys see it as tradition, rooted in the long-standing and ongoing practice of wild horse wrangling. Explains Roger William, the winningest racer since events were first organized in 1980: “Water, rocks, dams, trees, trails. That’s what these wild horses put you through trying to chase ’em.”

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Hey, NFL fans! Picture this alternate universe. What if the NFL owners got greedy and decided to form their own league? And all of your favorite players decided to switch to baseball, basketball or, dare I say, the CFL? This is exactly what Indycar fans have been dealing with for the last decade.

In the mid-’90s the now defunct CART series owners banded together against the organizers of the Indy 500, leading to the creation of an offshoot series known as the Indy Racing League. The damage done by the schism cannot be understated.

Nearly all of the young American racing talent since then has ended up in NASCAR instead of open wheel. Think of the cumulative star power of Tony Stewart, Carl Edwards, Kasey Kahne, Ryan Newman, AJ Allmendinger, Casey Mears, Sam Hornish and Danica Patrick. They all came from dirt or karting backgrounds, the traditional feeder series for Indycar, but every one of them made the switch to the more stable and lucrative pastures of NASCAR.

It didn’t have to be that way, but the owners of the ‘90s were short-sighted. They were doing what they thought was best for their teams, not what was best for the sport. Just last month the CEO of Indycar, Randy Bernard, revealed that certain owners were trying to get him fired, echoes of their fragmented past.

This series cannot afford to allow history to repeat itself. And it’s a shame because their product is the best it has ever been with outstanding races week in and week out, thanks to a new chassis and engine package. Now we can only hope that they don’t go down this path again, because trust me, you won’t like where it leads.

NASCAR driver Brian Vickers ventured to France last weekend to compete in the 24 Hours of Le Mans. Trading his Toyota Camry Sprint Cup car for a Ferrari Italia 458 was jarring enough, but that wasn’t the only thing that was different for Vickers overseas.

Here’s what he had to say about the food: “I don’t know what it is about Europe, particularly the French, but they love to see the whole food. I mean the head, the eyes, the tail, everything. When you order a fish, it is sitting there looking at you. I don’t mind, but at no point did I ever think to myself that I wish I could see this whole fish when I get back home. I just don’t need to see him looking at me. I am good with you cutting the head off, you can cut the tail off, you can take the bones out and filet it. That’s what I’m paying you to do: I don’t do that myself!”

But it’s not all bad, according to Vickers. “I am not going to lie: This is one thing where they have us beat. In general, Europeans eat better. The food is fresher, less preservatives, more natural. You can eat more food here and gain less weight. They don’t eat less; I can assure you that. Go to Italy, and they have a two-hour breakfast, a three-hour lunch and a four-hour dinner. They eat the whole time, too. It’s not how much they eat; it’s just better for you.”

Vickers tightened his belt and brought his Ferrari home 31st out of 56 cars after enduring a number of problems, none of which were food related.

VISITING WITH VILLAGERS in drought-ravaged Ethiopia, Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald have a problem: They can't give away their money fast enough.

Actually, they can't give it away at all.

The wide receivers are under strict orders to avoid handouts. Andrew Blejwas, an official with the nonprofit international relief and development organization Oxfam America, is coordinating this late-March trip for the two NFL players and their significant others, and he insists they focus on the task at hand. At the moment, the wideouts are in the region of Tigray, helping about 50 locals move rocks in a ravine, part of the agency's effort to create small plots of farmable land. A day of hauling rocks earns each worker about 90 cents, paid out by an Oxfam America-supported organization. It's strenuous, monotonous labor, but it's pretty much the only job to be found. "I know what it's like to do without," Boldin says after working and talking to villagers, "but nothing like this."

Ethiopia, a country of 93.8 million people, has a per capita annual GDP of $1,100 (compared with $48,100 in the U.S.), but Blejwas is adamant that Boldin and Fitzgerald refrain from slipping anyone cash. "You can't just give money to random people," he says. "It could change the social dynamic." He explains to the NFL stars that even a gift of 500 birr (about $30) could cause serious disruption in this community. If a few villagers were suddenly to become "rich," many neighbors could resent their good fortune, and some might shun them if not given a share of the windfall.

To read the rest, check it out here.

Times Square might be known for its Broadway shows, but recently it’s been playing host to a different kind of theater — the athletic variety. In April, U.S. Olympic gymnasts, fencers and volleyball stars participated in demonstrations and exhibitions for the 100 Days Out to London event. On Thursday, six members of Freestyle Team USA will go up against the national wrestling team of Russia. It will be the second edition of the dual meet. The first, which the U.S. won 5-2, was held last May. The big difference this year is that there will be a three-way wrestle-off at 132 pounds to determine the newest member of Team USA. Americans Reece Humphrey and Coleman Scott will face off first, and the winner will take on Shawn Bunch in a best-of-three championship series. The winner moves on to London. The losers will never be able to look at Times Square in the same way again.

Go ahead. Try to find a final day of a sport -- in America, or in any country -- more dramatic than Sunday, when the Barclays Premier League in England wrapped up its season in a most astonishing fashion.

For a recap of Manchester City's dazzling comeback to steal the title from Manchester United, go here. For a new twist on the most epic of soccer/football mornings/afternoons, artist Richard Swarbrick created some fresh illustrations on his website, and was gracious enough to share them with Playbook Visuals:

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Last year Englishman Richard Swarbrick burst onto the soccer (football over there) scene with some fascinating animations, ones that illustrated the year's best moments and goals.

And he hasn't stopped creating. The Tottenham Hotspur supporter (known as @RikkiLeaks on Twitter) still offers his unique interpretations of soccer's momentous occasions, and has shared five of them -- plus commentary -- with Playbook Visuals.

Check out his website for all of 2011-12's to-date. And you never know what's coming; there's still a Premier League weekend and a Champions League final in the offing...

Maicon's goal, Inter Milan vs. AC Milan

"Bang! A great goal to end a great Milan derby. This game was everything I love about Italian football."

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Also in England, Arsenal recently released the images of the club's new home kit (uniform, to you Yanks). To celebrate, the club also shot this video, which features some impressive soccer (and pingpong) target practice ... and eventually goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny showing, with his marksmanship, how he feels about manager Arsene Wenger.

If you aren't among the million-plus people to catch this incredible, inexplicable, has-to-be-a-goal-but-isn't miss in soccer, change that. And then ask yourself this: Did Lorenzo Insigne -- a talented young Italian player in his own right -- produce the worst miss ever?

You need to catch your breath before you begin to describe the scene.

(Sigh.)

Under an April sky that’s a tribute to the colors of the NCAA basketball champions crowned the night before, another champ frolics with her scruffy foal on an emerald pasture. To be more specific, the dark bay mare is the magnificent Zenyatta, the yet-to-be- named foal is her 26-day-old colt by 2006 Preakness winner Bernardini and the pasture is Paddock 1 at historic and majestic Lane’s End Farm in Versailles, Ky. To be more metaphoric, they represent the past, present and future of horse racing. But at this particular moment, there’s really nothing to discuss.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” asks Jerry Moss, the LA-based music executive who, together with his wife, Ann, owns Zenyatta and carefully watches over a legacy that brings even hardened horsemen and railbirds to tears. “To watch the two of them in this setting, there’s nothing quite like it.”

(Sigh again.)

Zenyatta gives her colt a little head start before she chases him down. “Look at her,” says Ann. “She looks like she can race tomorrow. But she seems as happy to be a mother as she was on the track.”

She certainly loved to run. Zenyatta won 19 straight races over four years, including the 2009 Breeders’ Cup Classic, where she became the first female winner. Her only loss came in that same race the following year, her last race before retiring. But even that 2010 defeat, in which she came from far off the pace only to lose by a nose to Blame, enhanced her legend and popularity. Famed trainer Bob Baffert once said, “The minute Zenyatta passes my horse, I start rooting for her.”

So it was a big deal when it was announced last year that Zenyatta was being bred to Bernardini, one champion to another. Horse breeding is something like alchemy: part science, part magic. There have been proven sires and brood- mares, but there are no guarantees. Derby winner Barbaro’s full brother Nicanor has been a disappointment.

The first attempt to impregnate Zenyatta didn’t take, but the second did, and as she approached full term, the web traffic on zenyatta.com became too much for the site to handle. Its popularity has a lot to do with Zenyatta, of course, but it also owes something to Dottie Ingordo-Shirreffs, the stable manager for the Mosses and the wife of Zenyatta’s trainer, John Shirreffs. She also happens to be Zenyatta’s ghostwriter. Diary Post #454 reads:

“Dear, dear, dear friends, I am so proud and elated to share the news with you that IamnowaMOM.Ijust gave birth to a lovely dark bay COLT, March 8th, at approximately 10:10 p.m. Eastern Time. My adorable foal weighed in at 130 pounds, has a white star on its forehead ... and some white on its feet. As Ann commented when she saw him, ‘He has polka dots on his feet, Zennie, just likeYOU.’”

Charles Campbell is the assistant manager for the 174 broodmares at Lane’s End, and he had already participated in the delivery of five foals that day when he went to check on Zenyatta. “I could tell it was time,” he says. “But she was in excellent spirits, eating hay right up until her water broke.” The Mosses, who had flown in for the birth, were having dessert at a local restaurant when they got the call that Zenyatta was about to deliver. They quickly paid the check, drove under a full moon to the nearby birthing barn and donned the special blue coveralls they’d been given for the occasion.

Normally, only a few people attend the birth of a horse—no need to distract the mother or the vets—but for this one, there were about a dozen folks, including Bill Farish, the son of the farm’s patriarch, Will Farish; Mike Cline, the longtime general manager; a veterinary crew led by Dr. Richard Holder; and a small camera crew hired by the Mosses. “It was a textbook delivery,” says Cline. “The foal was on his feet and nursing within an hour.”

For those in the industry, the news of the birth to the equine version of Brangelina came at just the right time, as a counterpoint to all of the negative publicity surrounding the deaths of horses that led to the cancellation of the HBO series Luck. On March 17, California thoroughbred landmark Santa Anita Park held a special “equine baby shower” for Zenyatta. The track handed out “It’s a Boy!” posters, and the Mosses, Shirreffs and jockey Mike Smith signed autographs.

Two weeks later, the Mosses returned to Lane’s End for Zenyatta’s own 8th birthday party. She received a mail sack full of cards and letters as well as a special carrot-and-pear birthday cake with a Z of carrots in the middle. The next day, Zenyatta and her owners attended the special presenta- tion of a check to the American Red Cross disaster relief fund—the proceeds came from the auction of one of Zenyatta’s halters donated by Rood & Riddle Equine Hospital to help the victims of the recent spate of tornadoes in the area.

As with many retirees, Zenyatta is staying busy. She is scheduled to be bred to Tapit, the gray stallion who sired the nearly white Kentucky Derby entry Hansen. Needless to say, it will be interesting to see the result of that pairing next winter.

But for now, all eyes at Lane’s End are on Zenyatta and the foal they call the Little Prince or Dumpling. And at this moment, they’re both coming to the fence to see what all the fuss is about. It remains to be seen whether the foal can live up to his breeding, but he definitely has his mother’s pointed ears.

Cline, holding a pail filled with carrots, says, “I’ve been at Lane’s End for 33 years, but I’ve never known a horse who’s meant so much to so many people. There’s just something special about her. Take this carrot, for instance. Most horses will eat the whole thing, greens and all. She measures it and chomps it off right at the stem. Here, try it.”

You do, and that she does, leaving you holding the stalk with just a little bit of orange showing. Then she looks at you and sizes you up, in a different way from how she measured that carrot. As beautiful and magnificent as Zenyatta is, it’s the intelligence in her eyes that gets to you.

(Sigh.)

“She’s more than a horse, you know,” says Ann Moss. “She’s just this incredible being.”

Look away, non-soccer fans -- this one's for those stoked about today's Manchester derby. That's when Manchester City plays host to Manchester United, in what might be the biggest match between the two squads ... ever. But don't take it from us; read the analysis here.

Playbook Visuals, meanwhile, offers a look at these great images -- ones that, we hope, capture a small fraction of the drama that's about to ensue (3 p.m. ET, ESPN2).

First, a tremendous animation from Richard Swarbrick, on Wayne Rooney's bicycle goal from one of last year's showdowns:



And now the photos ...

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Barcelona takes on Chelsea in Champions League action Tuesday afternoon. And those among us who love soccer/football are pretty excited.

But not everyone is happy about all things Barcelona. Just take these fans of fellow Spanish club Sevilla, who on Saturday lobbed tennis balls on the near-empty stadium grounds because their match was delayed by the Barcelona-Real Madrid game still going on.

We don't really need to say anything about the shot Armands Skele hit for Estonia's BC Kalev/Cramo. Just ... watch.

Off the Ball never rests in its mission to scratch around the underbelly of professional football to find the most bizarre, humorous and inexplicable stories.

This week, Carles Puyol has his head stapled to win Off The Ball's recognition, Fulham make an eggs-cellent investment to beat the credit crunch, bitter Marseille fans urge their team to lose to screw over PSG, a ball boy refuses to accept Sulley Muntari's sweaty AC Milan shirt and Atletico Nacional's Dorlan Pablo scores a 40-yard screamer.

Puyol has head stapled during Barca match

Barcelona skipper Carles Puyol is obviously an avid reader of Off The Ball. After being omitted from last week's Man of Steel Issue the death metal-loving defender immediately set about earning his place our 'big kahunas hall of fame' by having his bloodied head stapled back together at the side of the pitch.

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Last summer, Mark Hoppus of Blink-182 decided he had had enough of Southern California. He'd lived there his entire life -- between all the music travels and tour stops -- and needed a change.

So he uprooted his wife and 9-year-old son to live in London for a year.

The weather is colder, he walks instead of drives and there are historic buildings everywhere -- marking quite the contrast from the sunny concrete of SoCal.

And in London, everybody there loves soccer, something the 39-year-old rocker has tried to embrace. He's thrown his soccer support behind Chelsea FC, the high-spending English Premier League team that boasts international superstars Didier Drogba and Fernando Torres.

Drogba's goal on Wednesday night helped the Blues to a 1-0 victory over Barcelona in the first leg of their Champions League semifinal. The second leg of the series is next week in Spain.

And despite moving to another country, Hoppus returned with his old bandmates to create a new album, "Neighborhoods," which was released in September -- the first album of new material in eight years for the trio of Hoppus, Tom DeLonge and Travis Barker.

Hoppus travels back to New York to host his television show, "Hoppus on Music," which airs on Fuse at midnight ET on Thursday nights.

Blink-182 is also heading out on a wide-ranging tour, which begins May 10 in Thackerville, Okla., and wraps up on July 21 in Lisbon, Portugal.

We caught up with Hoppus to talk about his new team, the strange way he's treated by English soccer fans and what parts of soccer he thinks "make no sense."

When you moved to London, you decided to throw yourself into supporting Chelsea FC of the English Premier League. How's that gone?

It's been an educational experience for me, for sure. When Blink toured over here, it always fascinated me, the passion and fanaticism people had for their team. They are dedicated, lifelong fans who are totally committed to their team. So I started following it and I'm kind of into it now. When I moved to London, I wanted to take my hometown team. The closest is Chelsea, so that's my hometown team. Once you declare your loyalty to a team, every person who doesn't support that team, it's their job to ruin you, to tell you you're an idiot and to tell you that you made the wrong choice. [Laughs]

Chelsea is one of the highest-spending and most successful teams in the world. Do you worry about being called a front-runner?

They kind of have the reputation for being the Yankees of the Premier League. They have a bunch of money behind them and they'll pay for the best players, but the best team in any sport across the world will do what it takes to get the best players.

How have interactions with the English fans been?

It's strange because I'll tweet about it or post it on my Facebook when Chelsea is playing. And one time we got our asses handed to us, so I was like, "Hey, too bad for us, but congratulations to Manchester United on a great game." And people over here were like, "Why would you ever congratulate the other team for beating your team?" You're supposed to blame the refs, the conditions on the field, the position of the sunlight. [Laughs] You never say congratulations.

Wait … so you're saying we Americans are more polite than the British?

[Laughs] I think by and large, painting with a very wide brush, on the whole, the U.K. is more polite than the U.S. When it comes to sports, though, I think they put everyone else to shame in terms of, "It's my team or death."

Is it all soccer, all the time over there? Or are you into any other sports in the U.K. that aren't necessarily popular over here?

Living over here, I've really gotten into televised darts. [Laughs] Dart championships. Another interest, I have no idea about these two sports, but I'm interested in cricket and rugby. I have no idea anything about them. I know cricket takes, like, five days to play one game.

Have you always been a sports fan?

The last few years I became a lot more into sports. Growing up, the sports I liked were independent sports, like skateboarding. I was really into skateboarding, and not necessarily team televised sports. The past five or six years I've gotten more into American football, and a little bit into the NBA. I've also liked hockey for a long time now. I basically just know enough to get by the dinner-party conversation. I can have an opinion and support my opinion. I can't spit out any stats, but I can at least carry out my end of the conversation.

Has your interest in these sports helped you break the ice in your new culture?

Totally. I think for men especially -- and women, as well -- it breaks the ice. I was fortunate enough to get invited to the Carling Cup [an English soccer tournament, which Liverpool won in penalties over Cardiff City on Feb. 26]. I was in a group of 12 people I've never met, but we can still talk about the game and different players, and how your team's doing and my team's doing. It's a good way to bridge cultural gaps. I was talking about how I didn't know anything about cricket or rugby. So it's definitely a nice way to break the ice and meet new people. And for guys at a dinner party, it's all we really have. [Laughs] It's all we have. Then you ask if there are good movies out, or if there are any good new bands. That's it.

For such an intense guy -- always traveling, always creating music, and even your music is fast-paced -- soccer seems like a slow sport for you.

Oh my God, OK, as an American I cannot stand a 0-0 game. I cannot stand the fact they allow draws and all that in the first place. How you can have a sports match and not have a victor? It's wrong. [Laughs] It's wrong in my eyes. That makes no sense. You watch a game for 90 minutes and no one scores and people walk off and shake hands. It's wrong. No. Someone has to win. That's a fundamental flaw in the system you have. That should never happen. Someone has to walk out of the stadium a winner and a loser, that's the only thing that makes any sense.

We Americans don't go for ties.

They're like, 'Oh, it's a draw today.' How boring is that? They'll say there were some great attempts and great saves. 'Oh, the defense was amazing today!' [Laughs] Amazing defense. That makes no sense at all. That's them trying to cover their ass because it seems like a waste of time. [Laughs] But I'm a visitor in a different land so I have to abide the best I can. But it makes no sense.