Skateboard and snowboard legend Shaun White allegedly had one too many Mountain Dews early Sunday morning in Nashville and ended up getting arrested on charges of vandalism and public intoxication for his actions at a downtown hotel.
You can read all of the details here. But realize the police report is written in the language of squares. What White (allegedly) did sounds a lot cooler if described with skateboarding lingo.
Pulldown Ringo McEvac Latesies -- Pulling a fire alarm at a hotel, resulting in everyone in the hotel having to evacuate in the middle of the night.
Telecrush Smasho -- Destroying a telephone.
Cabbie Backside Fleezer -- Jumping into the back of a cab to flee the scene of your crime.
360 Launch-Kick Sprintle -- Kicking at someone who says he’s called the cops on you, then running away down the street.
Endo Face Grind -- Running into someone while fleeing the scene, then falling backward onto the ground, hitting your head on the pavement.
Stank Wobble-Foot -- Smelling strongly of alcohol and appearing heavily intoxicated.
Prizzy Bar Clank -- Getting arrested.
Outie Free Walk -- Posting bail and leaving on your own recognizance.
Brokesies McPology -- Issuing a public apology in hopes it will save you from losing endorsements.