The line on little league football

November, 1, 2012
11/01/12
12:57
PM ET
Nine men in South Florida are facing felony charges for running a high-stakes gambling ring on little league football. Six of the charged coached in the league, which featured players as young as 5 years old.

South Florida youth football must have a significantly higher level of play than youth leagues most of us grew up with. Here are the lines for your average little league football game. There isn’t much here for a big gambler.

Someone runs the wrong direction: 3-1

Dropped passes: +/- 4

Thrown passes: +/- 5

Ryan crying the first time he’s knocked down: 5-2

Someone who’s not wearing a cup taking a shot in the crotch: 4-1

Plays run in which it's obvious none of the players know the play: +/- 17

Punt goes longer than 20 yards: 400-1

Kid gets the wind knocked out of him: 2-5

Kevin breaks his glasses again: 2-1

Coach tells a story about his days playing high school football: 1-3

Coach yelling makes Ryan cry: 2-1

Touchdowns scored by the extremely fast kid on the other team: +/- 4

Jason’s dad makes a scene screaming at the refs: 2-7

A ref is forced to tell a coach that he’s making only 25 bucks to do this game: 3-1

Ryan is allergic to the halftime snack: 8-1

A player drinks too much water at halftime and then throws up on the first play of the second half: 5-2

Fumbles: +/- 11

Extra point attempted after a touchdown instead of 2-point conversion: 200-1

Players needed to bring down the huge running back on the other team: +/- 10
Tags:

Humor, Football

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