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The 97 best sports lists we've never read

Derek Jeter likely isn't embarrassed by his past relationships with Adriana Lima and Minka Kelly. Getty Images

Here’s a little Internet secret: lists are popular.

The 10 Best Quarterbacks in the NFL, the 50 Greatest Pizza Toppings, seven Guys You May Have Heard of Named “Clyde,” it doesn’t matter. If you make up a list of things, people on the series of tubes are very likely to read it. They may even get angry about how you ranked the Clydes and leave comments and email the article out to their friends and post it all over social media. And then you’ve gone viral because you dared rank Clyde Drexler above Clyde Tolson.

Add some pictures, break up your list into multiple pages and you’ve suddenly got yourself a whole load of page views thanks to putting like things in an order. It’s pretty great. And pretty easy to do. So with that in mind, here are 97 Sports Lists I’d Like To Read.

1. The SEC’s 40 Slowest Players

2. The 5 Most Disgusting Bodily Fluids Found in an Olympic Swimming Pool

3. Derek Jeter’s 10 Most Homely Girlfriends

4. The 10 Even Less Intimidating Team Names the Arizona Cardinals Franchise Considered Before Settling on “Cardinals”

5. The 2 Humans in the World Who Truly Understand the NFL’s Tuck Rule

6. The 15 Most Popular Hair Products Used by Green Bay Packers Linebackers

7. Andy Reid’s 25 Most Interesting Press Conferences

8. Roger Goodell’s 50 Most Random Fines

9. The 100 Most Enlightening Sports Tweets

10. Baseball's 25 Sexiest Umpires

11. Snowboarding’s 100 Most Popular Slang Words as of This Minute

12. The 10 Athletes Who Are Only Famous Because They Have Unique Facial Hair

13. The 50 Most Erudite Athlete Tattoos

14. The 10 Most Common Ways Sports Leagues Hide Profits in Labor Negotiations

15. The 10 Oregon Uniform Ideas Nike Designers Haven’t Dared to Even Share

16. The 10 Best-Selling UFL Jerseys

17. The 15 Most Underrated Punters

18. Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s Top 100 Sponsors

19. The 15 Most Frequent Ways Kevin Garnett Displays Intensity

20. Eli Manning’s 50 Most Eli Manning-esque Facial Expressions

21. The 100 Most Awful Players People Legitimately Drafted in Fantasy Football Drafts This Year

22. The 10 Times Nick Saban Was Closest to Experiencing the Human Emotion of Happiness

23. The PGA Tour’s 25 Best Dancers

24. The 20 Most Pleasant-Smelling Offensive Linemen

25. The Four People, Including Family Members, Who Don’t Hate Gary Bettman

26. The 10 Least Effective Inbounds Plays

27. The 3 Things Jay Cutler Kinds of Cares About Maybe Just a Little Bit

28. The 15 Sports Stadiums That Run Out of Paper Towels in the Bathrooms the Least

29. The 75 Greatest Quotes in Curling History

30. The 5 National League Catchers Whose Cars Get the Best Gas Mileage

31. The 6 Athletes Who Voted for Gary Johnson for President

32. “What channel is the game on?” and the 100 Other Most Annoying Questions Athletes Ask Their Followers on Twitter

33. The NFL’s 10 Tallest Special-Teams Coaches

34. The 74 Least Appropriate Places to Wear a Sports Jersey

35. The 8 Everyday Items Lawrence Frank Always Buys in Kid-Size

36. The 48,319 Best Seats at Michigan’s Football Stadium

37. The 3 Things Every NBA Superstar Keeps in the Tiny Bag They’re Always Carrying into the Locker Room Before Games

38. 25 AHL Defenseman You’ve Never Heard Of

39. The 12 Healthiest Food Options at Wyoming’s Football Stadium

40. 14 Big Ten Football Players Named “Brian”

41. 119 Words That Ryan Lochte Can Spell and Define

42. The 14 Baseball Stats That Old People and Young People Argue Over the Most

43. The 100 Steroids Stories That Fans are Sick of Hearing About the Most

44. The 9 People Currently on the Field for Your Baseball Team

45. The 12 People Currently on the Field for Your Football Team Until the Refs Blow the Whistle for the Penalty and There It Is

46. The 634 Fanbases That Have Been Called “The Best Fans in Sports” by Their Teams’ Players

47. The New York Post’s 100 Most Negative A-Rod Covers

48. The 15 Greatest Washington Generals of All Time

49. The Detroit Tigers’ 45 Favorite Carbohydrates

50. A Random Collection of 25 NBA Players Who Have Never Scored 60 Points in a Game

51. The 50 Most Accurately Rated NFL Players

52. The 5 Most Common Names for College Football Quality Control Assistants

53. The 8 Places It Hurts the Most to Get Hit with a Slap Shot

54. The 300 Athletes Who Most Recently Did a “Gangnam Style” Parody

55. The 300 Best Dunkers in the NBA

56. The 65 Tackles the 2012 Redskins Missed the Least

57. The 50 Most Outdated Announcer Pop Culture Catchphrases

58. The 3 Best RGs

59. The 3 Best Davis Loves

60. The 40 Most Common Kinds of Bacteria Found on the Floor of a Baseball Dugout

61. 10 Players Recruited by Alabama Who Also Received Adorable Recruiting Letters from MAC Schools

62. The 25 Most Challenging Miles in a Marathon

63. The 25 Most Exciting Games in Tampa Bay Buccaneers History That Were Blacked Out on Local TV

64. The 48 Best Places to Throw Up at Wrigley Field

65. 14 Kentucky Residents Who Claim to Like College Football More Than College Basketball

66. The 18 NFL Tight Ends Who Are the Worst at Basketball

67. 14 Toddlers in the San Diego Metro Region Alone with a Better Throwing Motion Than Philip Rivers

68. 15 Baseball Players Who Would Hit a Lot More Doubles if They Were in Shape

69. The 50 Least Ridiculous Items Sold in the State of Alabama with a Houndstooth Pattern

70. The 10 Greatest Ryder Cup Assistant Captains of All Time

71. The 15 Best Woodwind Sections of College Football Marching Bands

72. The 500 Worst Golf Jokes

73. 6 Kind-of-Nice Things Someone Could Say About Lane Kiffin if They Were Physically Threatened

74. The 50 Least Depressing Ways the NHL Network is Filling Air Time

75. The 15 Best Soccer Players Who Go by Two Names

76. Rex Ryan’s 50 Dumbest Predictions

77. The 10 Most Fashionable PBA Bowlers

78. The 20 Most Charismatic Horses Who Won Preakness

79. 10 Athletes Who Would Probably be More Famous if They Grew Weird Facial Hair

80. Michael Jordan’s 5 Best Draft Picks

81. Michael Jordan’s 5 Least Humiliating Outfits

82. The 100 Most Hilarious Things Written About Lance Armstrong in Retrospect

83. The 10 Least Corrupt Boxing Decisions

84. The 25 Crappiest Coaching Trees

85. The 10 Hottest Streakers

86. The 10 Live Mascots That Would be Most Delicious to Eat

87. Les Miles’ 15 Tastiest Grasses

88. 15 Bowl Names That Aren’t Made Up, Honest to God

89. The 10 Poorest NFL Team Owners

90. The 11 Best Football Teams in the Big Ten

91. The 10 Most Legitimate Ticket Surcharges, Taxes and Fees

92. 5 Houston Astros Who Could Probably Make Another Major League Roster

93. Gregg Popovich’s 25 Longest Halftime Interviews

94. The WTA’s 25 Loudest Shriekers

95. The 15 Baseball Players with the Greatest Warning Track Power

96. The 3 Most Popular Kinds of Olympic Medals

97. The 10 Least Creative Sports Column Ideas