Tell your playoff projections to shut up

Who's to say Buck Showalter's Orioles won't make the playoffs? Isn't that why they play the games? G Fiume/Getty Images

Don’t be harshin’ my buzz, bro.

That’s what I would say if I actually talked like that – which I don’t because I’m not some whacked-out stoner, thank you very much. But the phrase comes to mind whenever I see these so-called “Playoff Odds” listed for Major League Baseball.

Apparently, these odds – which can be found in the far right column here – are figured by having a computer simulate the remainder of the schedule a million times. They would have us believe that if a team makes the playoffs in half those simulations, then it has a 50 percent chance of making the playoffs in real life. (If the simulations I run in my head were applied to reality, I’d have a 94 percent chance of being married to Kate Upton.)

Look, I don’t want some computer telling me that my team has hardly any chance at the postseason on April 30 – especially if it's off to a good start. If my team is 14-8, why can’t I believe that it's going to win 100 games and take the division title if I so choose? Is there any harm in that? Even if my team isn’t off to a good start, and I know in my heart it’ll be lucky to win 60 games, why does it have to be right there in black and white that my team has only a 1 percent chance of making the playoffs even though there are five months of the season left?

As a great man once said, perhaps in the Bible, “Do you believe in miracles?”

“No, I believe in computer simulations” – that’s what these microchip jockeys are saying. You know what they’re like? The guys who tell you the ending of the movie you’re about to see while you’re waiting in line outside the theater to get in.

If you want to become a mind slave to these computer machines and take them at their word that your team has no chance or has things sewn up with just one month gone, be my guest. Me? I’m going to keep living out here in a place I call “the real world” where the seemingly impossible happens every day.