Cam Newton inspires works of SEC poetry


Auburn honored its Heisman Trophy winners in a special ceremony on Saturday. When it was Cam Newton’s turn to speak, he recited a 16-line poem that he wrote about his love of the school.

Was it the best poem ever? No. Did he rhyme “this” with “this” not five lines in? Yes. Yes, he did. Did he say a score backward -- “27 -28” -- to make it rhyme with “great"? Unfortunately, yes to that one as well. But it was still a very good attempt by someone who did not major in poetry. Newton is on to something, too. Poetry and SEC football go hand in hand. In fact, many of the most famous lines of poetry in world history can be easily tweaked to describe the best football conference in America.

Shakespeare on the SEC:

Shall I compare thee to the SEC?

Thou art more lovely and more intemperate.

Robert Frost on Bobby Petrino:

But I have promises to break

and miles to go before I crash.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning on Petrino:

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways all the way up to 20,000.

Joyce Kilmer on the Toomer’s Corner trees:

I think that I shall never see

a poem as lovely as those trees.

Shakespeare on Florida:

Oh, Spurrier, Spurrier;

Wherefore art thou Spurrier.

Alexander Pope on the SEC:

Hope springs eternal in the SEC West.

Keats on the SEC:

Beauty is speed, speed beauty; that is all.

Percy Bysshe Shelley on Ole Miss:

Look at my works, ye mighty, and despair.

Alfred Lord Tennyson on Ole Miss:

'Tis better to have played and lost

Than never to have played at all.

Edgar Allan Poe on Tennessee:

Once upon a program dreary

Dooley toiled weak and weary

Shakespeare on SEC recruiting:

To cheat, or not to cheat, that is the question:

Whether 'tis Nobler on the field to suffer

The Slings and Arrows of outrageous losses,

Or to take Arms against a Sea of investigations,

And by opposing them: try to win.