Other uses for Tom Brady's new hairdo


Tom Brady introduced a bewildering new hairdo at a gala in New York on Monday, likely at the beckoning of his supremely attractive wife, who probably copied it off some lingerie model in Vogue or something. A greasy ridge falling prostrate off his scalp, the hair could most accurately described as a mohawk that is Tebowing.

While still better than the ponytail he sported a while back, the new ‘do is much more ripe for ridicule, seeing as he might be the first male in history to try it. So besides making Bill Belichick uncomfortable, what are some other uses for Tom Brady’s new hairdo?

  • Hot Wheels ramp

  • Recliner for Earl Boykins

  • Brief distraction from Gisele’s cleavage

  • Really lousy sundial

  • An ambitious new canvas for Banksy

  • Habitat for a silverfish or perhaps a small rodent

  • A spiritual mentor for Bryce Harper’s similarly wacky haircut.

  • Pride Rock in a miniature reenactment of “The Lion King”

  • An April Fool's prank at Locks of Love

  • Ergonomic wrist support for people who use computers all day

  • Beer funnel for Gronk

Have your own ideas? Post them to the comments section.