The 2012 NHL Awards are tonight in Las Vegas. The awards get a lot of buzz in hockey circles, but they're pretty much ignored in the mainstream. Maybe more people would pay attention if the NHL didn't always give away the same old, stodgy awards with confusing names. The Hart Memorial Trophy. The Lady Byng Memorial Trophy. The Frank J. Selke Trophy.

Lame. It's time for some new awards that could appeal to more people. Here are 25 ideas:

1. Thickest Playoff Beard
2. Patchiest Playoff Beard
3. Smelliest Playoff Beard
4. Most Ungentlemanly Player
5. Most Manly Player
6. Most Playing Like a Kid Out There Player
7. Least Valuable Player
8. Funniest Canucks Joke
9. Most Hilarious Flyers Goal Allowed
10. Hardest Check on Sean Avery
11. Creepiest Sedin Twin
12. Fan Achievement in Booing Gary Bettman
13. Fan Achievement in Yelling “Shoot the Puck!” Most During Games
14. The Lord Stat-Padding Trophy for Most Empty-Net Goals
15. Gooniest Player
16. Most Punchable Player
17. The Don Cherry Award for the Player Who Most Dresses Like a Flower Garden
18. The Staal Cup for Achievements in Staaldom
19. Commissioner’s Cup for Best Bankrupt Team Run by the NHL
20. Tim Thomas Award for Most Misguided Political Statement
21. The Bruce Boudreau Cursiest Coach Swear Jar
22. Bloodiest Face
23. Most Toothless Grin
24. The Lord Zombie Trophy for Most Gruesome Injury Sustained Without Missing a Shift
25. Best Canadian Team / Stanley Cup Consolation Prize