In Olympics' wake, 50 questions remain
August, 13, 2012
By DJ Gallo | ESPN.com
Mark J. Rebilas/USA TODAY SportsThe terrifying McKayla Maroney strikes fear in our hearts, despite her diminutive stature.The 2012 Olympic Summer Games in London are over, but interest in the Olympics doesn’t immediately end just because there’s no canoeing or handball on your TV in the morning. Here are 50 London 2012 questions we still want answered.
1. Has Katie Ledecky done enough to earn an A in gym class, at least for the first marking period?
2. Can everyone simply appreciate the fact that Usain Bolt is the fastest human ever and not the fastest human ever and a potential third receiver for some NFC West team?
3. Does the rest of the world have to stop making fun of British athletes now?
4. At least until the next international soccer tournament or Wimbledon?
5. Which Olympian’s fame will last long enough to get a Subway deal?
7. Is Michael Phelps the greatest Olympian ever?
8. Is Usain Bolt the greatest Olympian ever?
9. Is the greatest Olympian ever whichever great Olympian we’re watching at the time we’re asked the question?
10. Is McKayla Maroney the most terrifying 5-foot-2 person ever?
11. Why is it physically exhausting just to sit on your couch and watch people play water polo on TV?
12. How is North Korean media reporting the news that North Korean athletes won six of the 906 medals awarded?
13. Will British clouds be knighted for not raining constantly all Olympics?
14. Instead of finishing fourth in gold-medal count, would Russia have been first if Vladimir Putin had participated?
15. How many Olympic medals would Titans running back Chris Johnson have won if he hadn’t instead dedicated his life to destroying your fantasy football team?
16. Will Americans ever shake the disappointment of failing to win a sailing medal?
Cameron Spencer/Getty ImagesWould Usain Bolt make this gesture after catching a pass for a first down in the NFL?
17. Has LeBron James silenced his critics who said he could never win an NBA title and Olympic gold medal within two months of each other?
18. Will Americans now revert back to rooting against LeBron James and Mike Krzyzewski?
19. Which Fab Five had a better summer: the U.S. women’s gymnastics team or the Michigan Fab Five, thanks to Juwan Howard’s NBA championship?
20. Why is it that no one wonders if Yohan Blake would also make a disappointing NFL wide receiver?
21. How many 2032 gold medalists were conceived in the Olympic Village?
22. Do synchronized swimmers make those faces even when they’re out of the pool?
23. They do, don’t they?
24. What face would McKayla Maroney make upon being confronted with a synchronized swimmer face?
25. Will Rio construct medal stands for 2016 big enough to fit equestrian horses so the people who rode around on the horses don’t get undeserved praise?
26. Does 71-year-old Japanese equestrian competitor Hiroshi Hoketsu have another Olympics in him?
27. How are all those dancing sick kids from the opening ceremony doing?
28. Is Olympic pool water more or less valuable with swimmer pee in it?
29. Do divers also pee in the pool?
30. They pee in that warming pool, don’t they?
31. Is that why it’s warm?
32. Which judge won Olympic boxing?
33. Synchronized canoeing, synchronized weightlifting, synchronized judo -- can’t everything be synchronized?
34. Why synchronize anything?
35. Wouldn’t the best heavyweight weightlifter make a better NFL lineman than Bolt would a wide receiver?
36. Which Olympian had the best Olympics, meaning which Olympian picked up the most Twitter followers?
Harry How/Getty ImagesLeBron James, NBA and Olympic champion.
37. Has Andre Iguodala silenced those who said he would never win a championship?
38. Does winning at the Olympics count as five rings toward LeBron James' “not seven” boast?
39. Will Lolo Jones find true love?
40. Will Ryan Lochte find true lust?
41. Did Queen Elizabeth II agree to act for the opening ceremony because being a queen in 2012 is nothing but playing make-believe anyway?
42. Which Olympian’s table tennis jersey will be best-selling?
43. Why is the SEC not recruiting in Jamaica?
44. Why is marathon hurdles not an event yet?
45. If Oscar Pistorius’ prosthetic legs are such an advantage, why haven’t other sprinters cut their legs off?
46. Does Mitt Romney approve of the final London 2012 product?
47. Why do all the other countries' national anthems sound inferior to your country’s national anthem?
48. Is Adele the only living British celebrity who was not featured during the opening and/or closing ceremony?
49. Will the shows “Go On” and “Animal Hospital” make it longer than the Olympics’ two-week run?
50. Is baseball still happening?