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What Google Instant thinks about your team

8/15/2012
According to Google, many web searchers wonder why Mike Krzyzewski looks so young. Andrew D. Bernstein/NBAE/Getty Images

An enterprising Internet writer recently uncovered America’s most boring, poor and racist states by typing “Why is [state] so” into Google and letting the site’s autocomplete function spit out some answers for the remainder of the question.

Being an enterprising sports Internet writer, I decided to type in a sports phrase for each of our 50 states and see what Google’s autocomplete supplied. Lower case is the phrase I typed, CAPS was provided by Google. These are all actual answers.

I think you’ll find that Google is a bit of a hater.

Alabama: Nick Saban is THE DEVIL

Alaska: Why does Mario Chalmers GET YELLED AT

Arizona: Why Rich Rodriguez FAILED AT MICHIGAN

Arkansas: Is Bobby Petrino STILL IN ARKANSAS

California: Are the Lakers STILL IN THE PLAYOFFS

Colorado: Why did the Broncos TRADE TEBOW

Connecticut: Jim Calhoun is A CHEATER

Delaware: Why is Delaware so BORING

Florida: Why are the Dolphins DYING

Georgia: Does Mark Richt ATTEND CHURCH

Hawaii: Are Rainbows WATERPROOF

Idaho: Boise State is IN WHAT CONFERENCE

Illinois: Why are the Cubs SO BAD THIS YEAR

Indiana: Why does Tom Crean DRINK DURING GAMES

Iowa: What is an Iowa HAWKEYE

Kansas: Is Charlie Weis COACHING

Kentucky: Is John Calipari A CHEATER

Louisiana: Why does Les Miles HATE JARRETT LEE

Maine: Black Bears are BROWN

Maryland: Why does Ray Lewis DANCE

Massachusetts: Is Bobby Valentine AN IDIOT

Michigan: Why do the Pistons STINK

Minnesota: Are Gophers BAD

Mississippi: Is Hugh Freeze A GOOD COACH

Missouri: Are the Rams GOING TO BE GOOD THIS YEAR

Montana: Is Marc Mariani PEYTON MANNING’S SON

Nebraska: Does Bo Pelini GET PAID

Nevada: Las Vegas sports BETTING

New Hampshire: Is New Hampshire A STATE

New Jersey: What is Rutgers KNOWN FOR

New Mexico: Steve Alford is A JERK

New York: Why are the Knicks SO BAD

North Carolina: Why does Coach K LOOK SO YOUNG

North Dakota: Why does North Dakota EXIST

Ohio: Why does Ohio State HATE DESMOND HOWARD

Oklahoma: Is Bob Stoops RELATED TO MIKE STOOPS

Oregon: What is wrong with Greg ODEN’S KNEES

Pennsylvania: Ilya Bryzgalov is CLINICALLY INSANE

Rhode Island: Rhode Island mascot SCROTIE

South Carolina: Why does Steve Spurrier WEAR A VISOR

South Dakota: Do Jackrabbits HAVE ANTLERS

Tennessee: Derek Dooley is A JOKE

Texas: Why is Tony Romo OVERRATED

Utah: Are the Utah Jazz GOOD

Vermont: Are Catamounts EXTINCT

Virginia: Do Hokies HAVE LARGE TALONS

Washington: Why do the Seahawks WEAR LIME GREEN

West Virginia: Why are Mountaineers AT RISK OF HYPOTHERMIA

Wisconsin: Is Ryan Braun ON STEROIDS

Wyoming: Can Wyoming BEAT TEXAS