Metta World Peace is obviously a vampire

August, 16, 2012
8/16/12
12:12
PM ET
Metta World PeaceHarry How/Getty ImagesMetta World Peace will join the majority of other Los Angeles entertainers and become a vampire.
Though not as dreamy as Grandpa Munster and not as good with numbers as The Count, Metta World Peace, apparently, is going to be a vampire.

The Lakers forward has accepted a role in a comedy spoof series called, “Real Vampire Housewives,” which sounds like all but a lock to be this decade’s “The Wire.”

Shooting in September, Metta will play an elder vampire named Gossamer who grants younger vampire couples permission to marry. The show’s director says he reached out to Metta because “he is physically intimidating in an Alpha-male way, very charming, a little mischievous and he has a raw sexuality,” but I’m sure it also helps that his ex-wife is a cast member on “Basketball Wives: LA.”

It’s been a busy news week for spotlight-desperate athletes, first with Ocho “Chad Johnson” Cinco losing his job/reality show wife, and now this revelation about Metta starring in “Twilight: New Goon.” I think it’s about time we start bundling all the obnoxious sports figures onto one reality show so that we can choose to either hopelessly indulge ourselves in the stupidity of it all or just simply ignore it.

Floyd Mayweather, Terrell Owens, John Rocker, Ozzie Guillen, Tonya Harding, Dennis Rodman, Metta World Peace and Chad Johnson, all living on one island, competing in challenges to determine who gets the most camera time. Challenges include: Getting Drunk But Not Arrested, Who Can Remember Their Kids’ Birthdays, Synchronized Bankruptcy, and Politely Dismissing Gold Diggers.

Ryan Seacrest would be host, and at one point he would be “mysteriously” eaten by alligators.

Sound good? Let’s make it happen.

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