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Kentucky schools should ban more words

8/21/2012

Kentucky and Louisville have banned athletes from using hundreds of words on social media, according to a report in the Louisville Courier-Journal. The flagged words are those the universities fear could embarrass their programs. If such a word is used, special software sends an email alert to coaches.

Among the banned words:

Agent

Alcohol

Benjamins

Doobie

Drugs

Fight

Gay

Gazongas

KKK

Murder

Payoff

Porn

Rape

Robbery

Whippets

While it’s understandable that universities want to protect their images, this system isn’t going to work. By the time a software program picks up a flagged word and sends an email alert to a coach, a controversial or offensive tweet will be retweeted 100 times. A thousand times by the time the coach checks his email and contacts the player.

Plus, the banned words limit student-athletes from being able to write things like this:

"Is rubbing ALCOHOL a good disinfecting AGENT?"

"Hard work will PAYOFF. It’s time to take the field and FIGHT for a win."

"My grandfather uses words like DOOBIE and GAZONGAS. What do they mean?"

But if Kentucky and Louisville are going to practice censorship, they at least need to have a comprehensive list of words on the banned list:

Coach/coaching -- What coach wouldn’t want a high-tech software program to alert him when players are talking about him behind his back?

Class/classes -- There are six things that can come out of athletes attending classes and five of them are bad. An athlete can pass a class and stay eligible. Good. An athlete can also skip class, flunk a class, cheat, get illegal help from a tutor or be funneled into a sham class. All bad things that can hurt a team. It’s best to keep an eye on these “classes.” Good things rarely come out of them.

Girl/female -- These people are 51 percent of the population and a major distraction to the average male athlete.

The -- “The” is a gateway word. The alcohol. The benjamins. The doobie. The gazongas. Wherever “the” is, bad things often follow.

Who/whom -- How are athletes using who and whom? Are they using them correctly? If so, maybe they could get three credits for it. Who/Whom Usage on Social Media. Sounds as legit as most any other college course.

Censorship -- Want to know a good way to enforce censorship? Prevent anyone from using the word “censorship.”