Sequels LeBron James should really star in

August, 28, 2012
8/28/12
11:38
AM ET
Pat Riley and LeBron JamesNathaniel S. Butler/NBAE/Getty Images"Just don't let Jordan steal the DeLorean. He might go back and make the Bobcats good."
LeBron James tweeted this week that he would like to star in “Space Jam 2.”



Terrible idea. If LeBron doesn’t want to be forever compared to Michael Jordan, he shouldn’t star in the sequel to Jordan’s movie. James needs to forge his own path. There are many other sequels he could star in that have nothing to do with Michael Jordan.


"Avatar 2"

Synopsis: LeBron controls an avatar sent to live among the cruel and ruthless Med’ia people in search of obtaining the most cherished mineral in all the basketball universe: Jordanium.


"Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 2"

Synopsis: LeBron plays Snow White, who lives in the Kingdom of Cleveland. There, for seven years, he is forced to try to win a basketball championship with seven dwarfs on his team. He finally escapes the wicked Queen Dan Gilbert and lives happily ever after in Miami.


"White Men Can’t Jump 2"

Synopsis: LeBron plays a streetballer with a bad reputation. He teams up with a hobbled white guy named Mike Miller who can barely run down the court, let alone jump. Yet they manage to defeat a much younger duo from Oklahoma City.


"E.T. 2"

Synopsis: LeBron plays Elliott, young and adventurous. The alien is played by Chris Bosh. LeBron seeks to return Bosh to his faraway and mysterious home of Toronto, Canada, before Bosh is possibly captured and dissected, or at least made fun of.


"Teen Wolf 3"

Synopsis: LeBron is a lycanthrope basketball player who dominates games through his superior size and strength. Yet, during fourth quarters, his body transforms back into that of a bald, regular man. Can he ever figure out a way to avoid the transformation and become a champion?


"The Big Lebowski 2: The Big LeBronski"

Synopsis: In a case of mistaken identity, some LeBron haters urinate on the rug of a man named LeBronski James. LeBronski goes to LeBron’s house to ask the basketball star to buy him a new rug. Instead, LeBron gives LeBronski a job, asking him to come up with an event surrounding his free agency decision. The idiot LeBronski completely bungles the job, creating “The Decision.”


"Back to the Future 4"

Synopsis: LeBron’s crazy, old genius friend, Pat Riley, finds a way to make a time machine out of a Hummer. LeBron then goes back in time, all the way back to 1992, to decide who’s better at basketball once and for all: Michael Jordan or LeBron James.


"Bad Teacher 2"

Synopsis:
LeBron shows up at the school where Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel work and beats the crap out of Segel’s character for saying he’s not better than Jordan. That’s the whole movie.

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