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Wednesday, June 20, 2012
NHL Awards needs new award categories

By DJ Gallo

Don Cherry
Which new NHL Awards category will colorful analyst Don Cherry inspire? Read below to find out.
The 2012 NHL Awards are tonight in Las Vegas. The awards get a lot of buzz in hockey circles, but they're pretty much ignored in the mainstream. Maybe more people would pay attention if the NHL didn't always give away the same old, stodgy awards with confusing names. The Hart Memorial Trophy. The Lady Byng Memorial Trophy. The Frank J. Selke Trophy.

Lame. It's time for some new awards that could appeal to more people. Here are 25 ideas:
  1. Thickest Playoff Beard
  2. Patchiest Playoff Beard
  3. Smelliest Playoff Beard
  4. Most Ungentlemanly Player
  5. Most Manly Player
  6. Most Playing Like a Kid Out There Player
  7. Least Valuable Player
  8. Funniest Canucks Joke
  9. Most Hilarious Flyers Goal Allowed
  10. Hardest Check on Sean Avery
  11. Creepiest Sedin Twin
  12. Fan Achievement in Booing Gary Bettman
  13. Fan Achievement in Yelling “Shoot the Puck!” Most During Games
  14. The Lord Stat-Padding Trophy for Most Empty-Net Goals
  15. Gooniest Player
  16. Most Punchable Player
  17. The Don Cherry Award for the Player Who Most Dresses Like a Flower Garden
  18. The Staal Cup for Achievements in Staaldom
  19. Commissioner’s Cup for Best Bankrupt Team Run by the NHL
  20. Tim Thomas Award for Most Misguided Political Statement
  21. The Bruce Boudreau Cursiest Coach Swear Jar
  22. Bloodiest Face
  23. Most Toothless Grin
  24. The Lord Zombie Trophy for Most Gruesome Injury Sustained Without Missing a Shift
  25. Best Canadian Team / Stanley Cup Consolation Prize