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Thursday, April 19, 2012
Let's get this party perjury retrial started!

By Greg Hardy
Special to ESPN.com

Roger Clemens
Fandom has ideas to speed up the arduous process of jury selection for the Roger Clemens retrial.
“Aw, man, I think the clock is slowwwwwww.”

It appears David Lee Roth’s “Hot For Teacher” lament appropriately describes the painfully slow process of jury selection for the Roger Clemens perjury retrial.

The seven-time Cy Young winner's second case is underway in Washington, but everything is just pregame pepper until the jury is assembled. But the process is taking so long that the Associated Press describes it as a “mind-numbing task.”

An all-star team of 12 jurors and four alternates will ultimately be compiled from 90 candidates. Lawyers from each side are asking questions to determine which minds are malleable enough to produce the desired verdict.

To help speed things along, here are vital questions that jurors should be able to answer honestly so that the Rocket -- and all of us -- can get on with our lives: