The next time a professional athlete feels the urge to tweet a string of profanity, some hate speech, a lewd photo of themselves, ugly thoughts that might get them fined or respond in anger after some nasty criticism -- they need not worry thanks to "Tweet Discreet 2."
If only. The latest version of this fictional but very-necessary product is offered in this video hosted by Dhani Jones and produced by 12 Angry Mascots. Jones says he "understands how hard it is for athletes to think before they tweet." Because of that, the app turns athletes' most inflammatory tweets into "140 harmless characters." NASCAR Sprint Cup champion and "Twitter God" Brad Keselowski and Arizona reliever Heath Bell are "paid celebrity endorsers" who promote the virtues of the new app featuring the "Arrogance Suppression System."
Among the real-life "fat jokes" featured in the spoof ad that poke fun at Bell's heft:
— Walter Rivas. (@b_wazzy) November 16, 2012
An earlier version of "Tweet Discreet" appeared on Comedy Central in March.
For many athletes, it cannot become reality soon enough.
• Oklahoma City’s Russell Westbrook got into the Thanksgiving holiday spirit on Tuesday when he launched his newly formed “Russell Westbrook Why Not? Foundation” by hosting two simultaneous Thanksgiving Dinners for needy families in separate cities.
— Russell Westbrook (@russwest44) November 21, 2012
From Russwest44 via Lockerz.
More than 400 people were fed at the Boys & Girls Club of Oklahoma County’s 12th annual Thanksgiving Dinner while Russell's parents, Russell and Shannon, and his brother, Raynard, hosted the foundation’s first Thanksgiving Dinner at Jesse Owens Park in Los Angeles, feeding over 300 families.
"Both the Jesse Owens Park and The Boys & Girls Club has done a lot for me over the years," Westbrook said, "I’m just grateful that I’m now in a position to give back to youth in South Central Los Angeles and Oklahoma City."
• Speaking of the NBA and holidays, the Association posted an early Christmas present on YouTube Tuesday, a video featuring mono-chromatic Christmas Day jerseys and an acoustic version of "Carol of the Bells" featuring five would-be ringers (including Westbrook) trying their best to chime in using nothing but their best dribbling tempo.
There are five games scheduled on Christmas and all 10 teams playing will be wearing the special Christmas Day jerseys. Representatives from three of those games are featured in the commercial, which is set to begin airing Wednesday night. Here's the complete Christmas Day schedule in case you want to plan your viewing around presents, egg nog and a mid-afternoon nap (all times Eastern).
12 noon: The Nets (Joe Johnson -- No. 7 center above in gray) will play host to the Celtics at Barclays Center.
3 p.m.: The Knicks (Carmelo Anthony -- No. 7 second from left in orange) battle their former coach, Mike D’Antoni, and his Lakers (Dwight Howard -- at left No. 12 in white) at Staples Center.
5:30 p.m.: The Thunder (Westbrook -- No. 0 second from right in blue) visit the Miami Heat (Dwyane Wade -- No. 3 far right in red) in a rematch of the 2012 Finals.
8 p.m.: The Bulls will take their best shot at James Harden and the Rockets in Chicago.
10:30 p.m.: Once they clear out the crowd from the Lakers game earlier in the day, the Nuggets will play the Clippers at Staples Center. Wonder how many Lakers' fans might try to hide out in between contests if the Clippers continue their red-hot ways?
Reaction to the video on You Tube was markedly mixed. "I didn't know Carmelo was back at Syracuse!" noted Cowboys2410. And Ceejay8887 summed it up with: "Ugly uniforms are ugly."
• LSU has moved to the top of this week's Facebook College Football Social Power Rankings following their 41-35 victory over Ole Miss last weekend. The rest of the top five feature Texas, USC, Stanford and UCLA. The rise of USC, which was 13th last week, and UCLA, which was 20th, in the rankings was fueled by their battle on Saturday, which was won by UCLA 38-28. USC plays Notre Dame Saturday with the 11-0 Irish (ranked 6th on Facebook) playing for a berth in the BCS championship game. The rest of the Facebook Top 10 are Oregon, Georgia, Kansas State and Ohio State.
Each week, Facebook weighs and combines total mentions received by each college football team with both the raw change in mentions on the site as well as the percent increase in mentions to arrive at an overall score -- the Facebook Social Power Ranking. Mentions are tabulated by aggregated posts or comments containing terms specific to each team.
• Actually, it was only 27 3-pointers...
I just witnessed a guy from Grinnell College score 138 points and make 28 three pointers! I kid you not
— Ben Lamaak (@Ben_Lamaak) November 21, 2012
The would be Jack Taylor, a 5-foot-10 sophomore from Black River Falls, Wis., who scored an NCAA-record 138 points for the Div. III Grinnell (Iowa) Pioneers in their 179-104 victory over Faith Baptist Bible Tuesday. Taylor hit 27 of 71 attempted threes and 52 of his mind-numbing 108 shots from the floor, sinking seven free throws for good measure.
@hlas Am I reading the box score right....one guy scored 138 on 27 made three pointers and 52 total FG's made?
— Mike Longwell (@COLT45o) November 21, 2012
Yes, you are.
Still don't believe it? Check out a replay of the game here. You can also check some highlights from Taylor's high school days in this You Tube clip from 2009: