Clydesdales, tacos, Doritos are our faves

When you spend $4 million on 30 seconds of a commercial during the Super Bowl, you want to make it count. Here's our five favorites with humor writer D.J. Gallo giving us his thoughts:

Possible message:

• "Horses have the same emotional intelligence as humans. Maybe we should stop enslaving them by making them cart our beer around. Unfortunately, this poor horse is about to get shot by police because you can’t have a giant Clydesdale running free on a city street. People could get trampled."

• "This guy really needs a girlfriend or just a friend. Any human interaction at all."

• "Budweiser wants us to buy Budweiser."

Possible message:

• "Taco Bell thinks our grandparents are irresponsible."

• "Taco Bell thinks they’re going to get away with depicting Nanna and Pap-Pap this way."

• "Taco Bell wants us to come to Taco Bell to beat the crap out of them and, while we’re there, buy some Taco Bell tacos."

Possible message:

• "Goats, who will eat absolutely anything -- including tin cans -- also will eat Doritos."

• "You could be killed by a goat. You may not have a long life. Why bother eating healthy? Eat Doritos."

• "Doritos wants us to buy Doritos."

Possible message:

• "Psy’s financial adviser told him to take absolutely every dollar thrown his way while he is still getting offers, no matter how humiliating they might be."

• "Pistachios were probably a lot cooler five months ago."

• "Wonderful Pistachios wants us to buy Wonderful Pistachios."

Possible message:

• "Amy Poehler is annoying and her behavior borders on harassment."

• "Best Buy employees are very patient with annoying morons whose behavior borders on harassment."

• "Best Buy wants us to buy things at Best Buy."