I believe we've found the dumbest crook working in America today.
His name is Christopher James Carolan, 22, and he pled no contest to stealing a signed Michael Jordan jersey from the home of Spurs All-Star guard Tony Parker and his wife, actress Eva Longoria Parker.
Carolan's job was to work security at the home while the couple was on vacation. But police say he stole the jersey and then tried to sell it on Craigslist. Its estimated worth is $20,000, but Carolan -- the genius -- asked $500, and settled for $120.
The jersey was recovered and Carolan is in jail, awaiting sentencing.
So into the lake you go, Chris. We hope you're a better swimmer than you are a fencer.