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Monday, May 24, 2010
Too Short For A Column


Lance Armstrong's life has gone directly into the InSinkErator the past couple of weeks.

He's got Floyd Landis "clearing his conscience" over him. He's got eight stitches under his left eye after a face plant in Visalia, Calif. And he's got "doubts" about his ability to get in good enough shape to win an unprecedented eighth Tour de France in July.

So it made a person wonder: Might the 38-year-old Texan just take his seven TdFs and call it quits?

"Skip the tour?" he wrote in an e-mail. "No chance ... One mission right now -- getting this old ass going for July."

Armstrong's ass was back on his bike in Los Angeles at the Tour of California on Sunday, three days after the crash, though he finished in the back of the pack.

Landis, in admitting he'd lied in legal proceedings, lied to reporters and lied in his own book "Positively False," confessed to ESPN.com's Bonnie Ford that he used performance-enhancing drugs during his career. Then he accused Armstrong, Armstrong's coach Johan Bruyneel and many of Armstrong's teammates of teaching Landis how to blood-dope and wear testosterone patches. Landis admits he has no evidence of his charges. That was especially evident when Landis said the UCI covered up Armstrong's positive EPO test result from the 2002 Tour of Switzerland. Only problem is: Armstrong didn't compete in the 2002 Tour of Switzerland.

Armstrong has denied the allegations wholly.

One thing seems to be working for Armstrong lately, though: his ability to have children. The testicular-cancer survivor announced his girlfriend, Anna Hansen, is pregnant with their second child (his fifth), due in October. The baby even has its own Twitter account: Cincoarmstrong.

Armstrong says the name could be Jack or Olivia, according to the Austin American-Statesman.

Definitely not Floyd.

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