Friday, January 7, 2011
Hey bartender, I'll have a Michael Vick!
Nobody knows for sure, but it's been more or less 50 years since a woman overheard Arnold Palmer order a half lemonade, half iced tea at a bar in Palm Springs and said, "I'll have that Arnold Palmer drink."
It's popular now all over the world, transcending Palmer himself. People today order an Arnold Palmer who have no idea who Arnold Palmer is. No other athlete has had a drink named after him catch on.
This, to us, seems a shame. Seems like we should be able to walk up to a bar right now and order ...
A Tiger Woods ... Pineapple juice and vodka ... Drink one and you'll want 13 more.
A Jack Nicklaus ... Kind of like an Arnold Palmer, only a little better.
A Brett Favre ... By the time it comes, you've changed your mind.
A Chris Bosh ... Chaser only.
A Greg Oden ... You can order it but it never shows up.
A Rex Ryan ... Tastes like a Tootsie Roll.
A Mark McGwire ... Comes with a shot.
A Cam Newton ... Your dad orders it for you.
A Dennis Green ... It is what you think it is.
A Tom Brady ... Really good by the sixth round.
A Michael Vick ... A little hair of the dog that should've bitten you.
A LeBron ... Served with a mirrored glass so you can watch yourself drink it.
A Terrelle Pryor ... It's free!
A Lance ... Only one ice cube.
A John McEnroe ... After one, you cannot be serious.
A Karch Kiraly ... Comes spiked.
A Tim Tebow ... Served very straight.
A Michael Phelps ... Water with a water chaser.
A Reggie Bush ... You drink it for a little while, then they take it back.
A Nick Saban ... Comes with extra bitters.
Anna Kournikova ... A white Russian, hot.
A Quentin Richardson ... Hold the Brandy.
A Chris Evert ... You drink it with both hands.
A Barry Bonds ... Careful: it goes straight to your head.